Tonight my grandma comes home. If you didn't know, she will be back from a three month trip to China. I guess you can call it a vacation from the Pho residence, but in another aspect, despite the difference in time zone, culture, and language, she landed in another Pho residence-that of my uncle's. Long story short, she basically went there to help take care and be with the newest addition to her grand children.
Its been a huge learning process for my family and it hits me hard that her return may mean that some things just won't change. These past three months, I've come to realize how much there is to be done to take care of a home-the chores, the cooking, the clean up duties, the care as well as the complaints involved I always think of myself as someone who is independent in multiple aspects, but when it comes to someone to be dependent on in the family, I definitely am lacking. When I know something is to be done or will be done by my grandma or someone else, I just don't do it and play lazy or push it aside until it gets done by so and so, quite often my grandma. Only if I know no one else will do it or that person isn't there, then I take action.
This quarter of a year without my grandma has made every member of my immediate family step it up in their responsibilities. Some more than others, but for me, I found I've personally been tested abundantly, especially in these last few days as my dad left for a short trip as well. As I'm quote on quote retired, I'm at home the most and I've been faced head on with the reality of taking care of a house, let alone a family. I've joked to friends that I feel like a housewife at home, but despite the stigma that comes with that title, I've come to appreciate it. There's more work to it than meets the eye and my attempt of being in the shoes of a maid is a far stretch. From attempting to make rice for the first time (I know its quite sad for someone my age, but it turned out to be a success), to taking out the garbage, cleaning the kitchen, etc. I can't help but think how selfish I've been towards my family. I have the tendency to complain bluntly, but God's been teaching me to work as if I'm working for Him and reminding me to display sacrificial love for my family. Self love is so easy, but to demonstrate selflessness is much harder. It means not complaining about what others are not doing, not holding yourself back on what you should be doing, and doing a task with no expectation of an "even" return.
I've actually got use to my routine of house work these past few weeks of being home, and I realize it isn't fair for an eighty plus retired lady to be picking up after us. She deserved her break away even if it seemed devastating to our family at first. As happy as I am of her return, I can't help but wish she stayed overseas longer. Things will naturally reroute itself to three months ago; my mom won't be cooking, my dad won't be taking the garbage out, I won't be cleaning, and my brothers won't be washing the dishes as much as we should be.
When my grandma is around, she often complains about us for not cleaning after ourselves as we should, but she also complained about how boring it was in China because my uncle has a maid and she doesn't get to do/clean anything. Interesting eh?
As much as it will be nice to have my grandma's efficient hand back, I hope that we don't stop our individual effort to give her a break. It's so easy to take things for granted, let alone a person.
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