Mother Sarah

So since I can remember, I had one friend who would remind me of how "motherly" I am and call me the dreaded Mother Sarah to my ears. As a biased me, I know I often like leading and this results in me telling others what to do or just naturally looking out for others and caring for them. I know it`s not a bad thing, but being reference to a mom just made my ears cringe at the thought of that.

I guess over the years I`ve grown accustomed to that friend, and unfortunately others call or mention that to me, but I just take it as a tease and laugh it off as this was coming from peers. Maybe it comes with age and now taking an active role in the shoes of a youth leader, but I`m starting to realize how much I care and feel the responsibility to be that role model and spiritual influence on these youths I see week in and week out. I worry if what I say will make a difference in their lives, feel the urge to be more proactive on certain topics to get them to stay out of trouble (for the record, they are all good kids), and wonder what would happen if I wasn`t in the picture. It`s ironic how I`m saying all of this as only a mere few months ago, I was questioning what in the world had I got myself into here. 

Looking back, I`m acknowledging how much God has changed my heart and ready me for this role, and likewise I can see how much God has used me to open up the youth to think deeper, get involved, and grow as they continue their spiritual walk. I`m humbled and in awe of how God can use my so call `motherly` characteristics to foster love and unconditional acceptance towards these teen-ragers and I can`t wait to see where God is going to take them from here on.

Tonight I`m hosting a youth girls night on relationships and purity as questions and curiosity has arise through our weekly discussions. Having been there as a hormonal youth, I pray that God will grant me His utmost wisdom and discernment when sharing on this topic. I would really appreciate it if you could uplift these youth in your prayer as well.

Here comes Mother Sarah!

ugh...that still sounds horrendous to me.

Tables have Turned

I am enthusiastic about planning. If you didn't have any clue of that, well you definitely do now. Planning events,  jotting ideas, brainstorming, attending meetings (yes, you read this one right!), and especially thinking ahead and getting things accomplished before it should or needs to be done. I've enjoyed being a planner and my Myer Briggs characteristic traits have intellectually confirmed that, but it does take its toll on me.

The down side is, planning is always done in the present towards something happening in the future, and that doesn't work very well when you don't know what is actually in store in the future. You can only predict and confirm so much while everything else is up in the air until it actually occurs, and there's no guaranteed that what you plan will go through. Thus, planning sucks when it constantly is being change, manipulated, and when the tables seem to keep turning on you-Thanks God...just great, you just love to do this to me... just when I thought everything would be concrete. 

Today I think I've reached the tipping point of how much my plans can change on me-especially on short notice. I really felt my heart dropped on this one and how it effects my plans these next few months. I have extended travel plans this Spring and there were a few purposes for this trip, but it seems like my original intent for going on this trip is constantly being reworked and thought out. Just when I thought that everything was going to work out smoothly, I just had to receive some breaking news.

It's honestly bittersweet, I'm complaining about my travel plans changing on me, call it a first world problem? I really don't know, but I'm holding out for a miracle. Circumstances make it seem impossible in the natural, but that only makes me feel that God is going to show me the possible. I would be devastated if what I had planned doesn't work out or my purpose for going didn't include me in the picture.

Here's to holding out on faith and trusting God to show me His divine and devious plans...

Not going to lie, it sucks not knowing!