With Christmas behind us now and a new year coming, this is usually a time of reflection for most people. When I think of reflections, I think of resolutions, and then I come to realize the lack of success in my resolutions, well, all but one. This was a resolution set back in 2006 when I set out to read the bible from cover to cover. I was in grade nine and I was on a "Christian high" coming home from my first winter conference experience. Actually, I've mentioned this before, but grade 8 and 9 were the highlights of my faith. I stepped out of my bubble, I wasn't afraid to tell my friends about God nor would I care about what they would think. I feel that as a teen I was able to get away with my beliefs as those are the few years you can rebel and figuring out your identity (and who cares if I'm judge). Also, I would pretty much attend every christian event that was advertised at church: mission fest, spring retreat, YC, etc. Looking back now,I wonder how I had so much energy back then to constantly attend these conferences/retreats/events and go year after year (20 is definitely a milestone!).
So yes, I did finish reading the bible at one point, but it wasn't "quality" reading for sure, more like "quantity" reading so that I would finish within the year. Pacing each night before I went to bed eventually led me from Genesis to Revelations by November of that year. I have to admit though, I would often read for the sake of reading without focusing on the significance of the passage or the deeper meaning behind the verses when I didn't understand something. So I never consider myself having read the bible from cover to cover in a spiritual sense, though logically, I did.
Now that it's that time of year again to set a goal for myself, I really don't know. Would I want to read the bible cover to cover again? I would have to say no as I don't feel I should be reading the bible just for the sake of accomplishing a goal. I rather read it spontaneously when I want to rather then consistently force myself to read it. I know others may disagree with this logic of mine, as reading the bible is an important part of our christian walk, thus we should make it a habit in our daily lives instead of reading when we want to.
I find that as I'm getting older, sometimes its harder to show my faith. Perhaps this process is working the other way around for me. As a teen, you want to blend in and are stereotype to conform to what your peers are doing, but I was one that spoke out about my faith and what I believed in, and even told non-believers the latest christian event I was attending. In reverse, now as a young adult, I find myself retreating from living out my religion when I'm around non-Christians and secular environments. Usually it's an indirect matter and I just notice this personally, but it's hindering me spiritually and I know change is needed. I really yearn for that confidence back in my early teenage days when the only judgement I cared for wasn't from anyone on Earth. I know that God isn't pleased when I make it a selective portrayal of who I am depending on who I'm with.
Maybe this should be my coming resolution, and not just a resolution, but a continual tune up for myself. On a side note, scrap what I said about winter con in my last post, I miss attending so much. I have been swarmed with constant thoughts about my previous winter cons and I find myself day dreaming about it this whole week and wondering what it be like if I was there (and not working). If only... but I guess I would never have come to realize this if I hadn't decide to not go this year.
=(
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Taking a holiday from tradition
Literally.
My parents decided to take a holiday to Jamaica this year and flew out on December 23rd. Since then, its been quite a different atmosphere at home already. Two bodies less in the household is one thing, but it feels sort of strange to have my parents away from us three for Christmas for the first time ever. I wasn't home for Christmas last year since I spent my Christmas in Vancouver prior to winter conference, but having it work the other way around is sort of odd. I guess its because Christmas is seen as possibly the only holiday of the year where close and extended family members fly in to one destination to gather around and feast, share, and inform each other of the latest family news. Having my parents fly out and away for a destination holiday seems to counteract this perception, but I'm sure it's still very enjoyable and relaxing to be away from the usual sensation of Christmas.
Personally, I'm breaking a personal tradition as well. Since 2005, I haven't been in town for the full two weeks of my Christmas holidays. This is because since my Christmas break in grade 9, I had started a new tradition to attend winter conference, except for one year in 2007 when I went on vacation to HK. Now that winter con is two days away, I'm getting a sappy feeling that I won't be going, especially since this year's conference is back in Kelowna where it all started for me. After last year's 50th anniversary, I didn't know if I wanted to go this year as I've been going for the past five consecutive years. Winter con never ceases to help me grow in my faith and end my year on a spiritual high note, but having known then what would be coming up for me, I wasn't sure.
Despite feeling that way earlier on, I was asked to become a church rep and that spiraled into my role of promoting winter con at NEAC, and even signing up for the conference itself (being a church rep doesn't mean you have to attend though). For a while, I was looking forward to this year's conference, after all, it is in Kelowna, at the Grand Okanagan Hotel, where all my amazing memories from my kick off year will come flooding back. At that point, I didn't know of my acceptance to my student exchange, nor was I fully sure of my decision. I wouldn't mind going, but I really felt the need to just slow down and have an actual "break," since I was pacing through a highly demanding and constantly occupied term. Along with my unconfirmed plans for 2012, I really didn't need to be away this holiday. I knew that I would have my fair share of departing from Edmonton and meeting new people. Fast forward and my circumstances absolutely changed, my study abroad plans were finalized and that stopped me from hesitating to process a cancellation towards my winter con registration.
Now, here I am feeling sad for myself that I won't be attending. Its not like I would actually go if I still could, its just the fact that I will be missing out from something I have been doing annually. On the bright side, I am really glad I will be staying in town for my full break and just having more time to myself either working, catching up with friends or hoping to grab some bargains over the course of this week.
What's that saying about some things are just meant to be broken?
Until next year, traditions.
Merry Christmas Bloggers!
My parents decided to take a holiday to Jamaica this year and flew out on December 23rd. Since then, its been quite a different atmosphere at home already. Two bodies less in the household is one thing, but it feels sort of strange to have my parents away from us three for Christmas for the first time ever. I wasn't home for Christmas last year since I spent my Christmas in Vancouver prior to winter conference, but having it work the other way around is sort of odd. I guess its because Christmas is seen as possibly the only holiday of the year where close and extended family members fly in to one destination to gather around and feast, share, and inform each other of the latest family news. Having my parents fly out and away for a destination holiday seems to counteract this perception, but I'm sure it's still very enjoyable and relaxing to be away from the usual sensation of Christmas.
Personally, I'm breaking a personal tradition as well. Since 2005, I haven't been in town for the full two weeks of my Christmas holidays. This is because since my Christmas break in grade 9, I had started a new tradition to attend winter conference, except for one year in 2007 when I went on vacation to HK. Now that winter con is two days away, I'm getting a sappy feeling that I won't be going, especially since this year's conference is back in Kelowna where it all started for me. After last year's 50th anniversary, I didn't know if I wanted to go this year as I've been going for the past five consecutive years. Winter con never ceases to help me grow in my faith and end my year on a spiritual high note, but having known then what would be coming up for me, I wasn't sure.
Despite feeling that way earlier on, I was asked to become a church rep and that spiraled into my role of promoting winter con at NEAC, and even signing up for the conference itself (being a church rep doesn't mean you have to attend though). For a while, I was looking forward to this year's conference, after all, it is in Kelowna, at the Grand Okanagan Hotel, where all my amazing memories from my kick off year will come flooding back. At that point, I didn't know of my acceptance to my student exchange, nor was I fully sure of my decision. I wouldn't mind going, but I really felt the need to just slow down and have an actual "break," since I was pacing through a highly demanding and constantly occupied term. Along with my unconfirmed plans for 2012, I really didn't need to be away this holiday. I knew that I would have my fair share of departing from Edmonton and meeting new people. Fast forward and my circumstances absolutely changed, my study abroad plans were finalized and that stopped me from hesitating to process a cancellation towards my winter con registration.
Now, here I am feeling sad for myself that I won't be attending. Its not like I would actually go if I still could, its just the fact that I will be missing out from something I have been doing annually. On the bright side, I am really glad I will be staying in town for my full break and just having more time to myself either working, catching up with friends or hoping to grab some bargains over the course of this week.
What's that saying about some things are just meant to be broken?
Until next year, traditions.
Merry Christmas Bloggers!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tis Christmas Eve
...is quite a different scene.
The most drastic change in scene is in fact our weather. What's up with the three to five days of extreme temperature drop and wind chill mid November, followed by random drip drops of rain from time to time, and a hovering around 0 degrees winter Edmonton is having? I never thought I be saying this, but I wouldn't mind the temperature dropping below -10C, having a pile of fluffy white snow on my lawn and being able to bundle myself in layers upon layers of chunky cable knitted sweaters hidden in the bottom of my closet. Hello old man winter, did you sleep in this year?
I remember the days of my childhood when style was not a factor to consider when zipping up in puffy winter jackets and bulky overall snow pants so that you could jump into a meter high of cold clouds. Making snowmen, flapping your arms and legs to form snow angels, throwing snow at one another, building snow forts, tobogganing down small hills, and braving the chill after only being outside for twenty minutes, are the days of my childhood I wish I could pause and repeat over and over again.
As I get older, I find that this festive season was more fun as an eight year old girl. What I mean is that as a child, you have that childhood innocence where you are gullible of a jolly old man coming down your chimney (even if you don't have one)and anticipate for Christmas morning so that you can run down the stairs with impeccable speed upon getting out of bed, and begin tearing apart the wrapping paper keeping you from your mysterious new present. I would love to do what I did as a kid, but its just not the same. Christmas will always remain an important and favorite holiday of mine, but I feel a change in the ways I celebrate this annual season. Nowadays, I treasure the 'fun' of seeing family and friends at Christmas gatherings, hosting Christmas parties, laughing over eggnog and lattes, singing Christmas carols, taking festive photos, and knowing that Christmas is not about receiving.
Early on this season I had decided not to do presents this year. Aside from the two Christmas gift exchanges and the minor annual family giving I'm partaking in, that's about it. Another thing about getting older is that you don't really care for gifts no more. Its not what Christmas is about in the first place and secondly, you realize you really don't need anything. Everything you wish for is predominantly a want. You also feel that you are able to get yourself what you do what in the exact criteria, rather than telling someone to get you that "thing" and wonder if they are getting exactly what you asked for. Having said that, I still like to receive gifts, its nice to be thought of and receive a gift from someone, especially when its unexpected, but its just not a priority for me no more. Instead of materialistic things, I wanted to do other means of giving. In some more subtle and indirect ways than others, I gave my gifts, talents, time and money versus the typical means of giving this year.
Growing up means that my superficial and surface level meaning of Christmas is now behind me, while a more significant and sensible one is before me.
The most drastic change in scene is in fact our weather. What's up with the three to five days of extreme temperature drop and wind chill mid November, followed by random drip drops of rain from time to time, and a hovering around 0 degrees winter Edmonton is having? I never thought I be saying this, but I wouldn't mind the temperature dropping below -10C, having a pile of fluffy white snow on my lawn and being able to bundle myself in layers upon layers of chunky cable knitted sweaters hidden in the bottom of my closet. Hello old man winter, did you sleep in this year?
I remember the days of my childhood when style was not a factor to consider when zipping up in puffy winter jackets and bulky overall snow pants so that you could jump into a meter high of cold clouds. Making snowmen, flapping your arms and legs to form snow angels, throwing snow at one another, building snow forts, tobogganing down small hills, and braving the chill after only being outside for twenty minutes, are the days of my childhood I wish I could pause and repeat over and over again.
As I get older, I find that this festive season was more fun as an eight year old girl. What I mean is that as a child, you have that childhood innocence where you are gullible of a jolly old man coming down your chimney (even if you don't have one)and anticipate for Christmas morning so that you can run down the stairs with impeccable speed upon getting out of bed, and begin tearing apart the wrapping paper keeping you from your mysterious new present. I would love to do what I did as a kid, but its just not the same. Christmas will always remain an important and favorite holiday of mine, but I feel a change in the ways I celebrate this annual season. Nowadays, I treasure the 'fun' of seeing family and friends at Christmas gatherings, hosting Christmas parties, laughing over eggnog and lattes, singing Christmas carols, taking festive photos, and knowing that Christmas is not about receiving.
Early on this season I had decided not to do presents this year. Aside from the two Christmas gift exchanges and the minor annual family giving I'm partaking in, that's about it. Another thing about getting older is that you don't really care for gifts no more. Its not what Christmas is about in the first place and secondly, you realize you really don't need anything. Everything you wish for is predominantly a want. You also feel that you are able to get yourself what you do what in the exact criteria, rather than telling someone to get you that "thing" and wonder if they are getting exactly what you asked for. Having said that, I still like to receive gifts, its nice to be thought of and receive a gift from someone, especially when its unexpected, but its just not a priority for me no more. Instead of materialistic things, I wanted to do other means of giving. In some more subtle and indirect ways than others, I gave my gifts, talents, time and money versus the typical means of giving this year.
Growing up means that my superficial and surface level meaning of Christmas is now behind me, while a more significant and sensible one is before me.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Tears & Smiles
What a weekend.
It has been non-stop since Friday and I haven't even had time to process all my on going thoughts. This past weekend really kicked off my Christmas spirit (6 more days!). Four out of my five anticipated Christmas items are now crossed off from my last post and I couldn't be happier with how the EMC Christmas celebration turned out. Despite some odd and ends and crazier moments, I'm glad it was a night of fellowship, food, and fun just as we wanted it to be. The new basement was a cheery atmosphere of laughter, hilarious moments, ridiculous question and answers, and the gift of giving shared by one another. As one of the hosts of the night, I felt the unity and togetherness of our church as we bonded over festive activities and Christmas carols.
Last night, at the 43rd baptism, a fellow brother in Christ mentioned how he always found himself going back to church despite the ups and downs in his life during his testimony (props, I enjoyed your testimony a lot!)and when he mentioned that, I felt the same way. I always anticipate attending special and regular church events and being able to be present makes me feel comfortable and the sense of belonging to a loving community. I believe church should make everyone feel this way. One should walk into church feeling welcomed and wanting to be there. Though, I know some people who may not feel this way when entering a church, and perhaps even feel a cold vibe, which I find very unfortunate. Anyhow, that fellow brother's testimony stirred an unexpected and sappy feeling in my heart knowing that I will be away from my home church in the near future. Church has always been a part of my life, and I really cherish all those wonderful memories I have as a member of this wonderful family in Christ.
So without further ado, I announce on this blog that I will be going to Seoul, South Korea for a four month student exchange next term. Its been a long process and now that this term has finally ceased, I have a long break to prepare myself and blog more about what's to come. I will be starting another blog soon in regards to this study abroad, so I'm going to designate and "define" my blogs.
Blogger: will always be my home page- after writing my prayers in journals on and off, I finally and consistently started and continued my first blog ever. Main focus: Faith and life
Tumbler: inherbasement.tumblr.com
started as a way for me to keep my friends on top of my "store's" happenings and the progress of my post secondary education. Even though I don't sell clothes no more, this blog has become a random mix of visuals, quotes, and updates on my school work.
This leads in to my debate on where to start my third public blog, I find blogger better for long posts as it has a more organize and simple dashboard structure.It is also more clean and easy to follow. In terms of photos though, blogger is lacking and not as dynamic.
Tumblr on the other hand is more engaging and has an easy format for photos, though it can get distracting and overwhelming with all the 'reblog' tabs and million things my followers blog on my dashboard, making you skim a lot and sometimes, skipping over long posts to see the next thing on the list.
Any suggestions or perhaps a new blogging site you know of?
Well, that's all for now, keep in store for more to come!
P.S.Congrats to all of you that got baptized yesterday. Every time I sit in those pews and watch as each one of you makes your 'splash' of faith, it reminds me of when I got dunk. I hope you all indulge in your gift and savour life's moments. =)
It has been non-stop since Friday and I haven't even had time to process all my on going thoughts. This past weekend really kicked off my Christmas spirit (6 more days!). Four out of my five anticipated Christmas items are now crossed off from my last post and I couldn't be happier with how the EMC Christmas celebration turned out. Despite some odd and ends and crazier moments, I'm glad it was a night of fellowship, food, and fun just as we wanted it to be. The new basement was a cheery atmosphere of laughter, hilarious moments, ridiculous question and answers, and the gift of giving shared by one another. As one of the hosts of the night, I felt the unity and togetherness of our church as we bonded over festive activities and Christmas carols.
Last night, at the 43rd baptism, a fellow brother in Christ mentioned how he always found himself going back to church despite the ups and downs in his life during his testimony (props, I enjoyed your testimony a lot!)and when he mentioned that, I felt the same way. I always anticipate attending special and regular church events and being able to be present makes me feel comfortable and the sense of belonging to a loving community. I believe church should make everyone feel this way. One should walk into church feeling welcomed and wanting to be there. Though, I know some people who may not feel this way when entering a church, and perhaps even feel a cold vibe, which I find very unfortunate. Anyhow, that fellow brother's testimony stirred an unexpected and sappy feeling in my heart knowing that I will be away from my home church in the near future. Church has always been a part of my life, and I really cherish all those wonderful memories I have as a member of this wonderful family in Christ.
So without further ado, I announce on this blog that I will be going to Seoul, South Korea for a four month student exchange next term. Its been a long process and now that this term has finally ceased, I have a long break to prepare myself and blog more about what's to come. I will be starting another blog soon in regards to this study abroad, so I'm going to designate and "define" my blogs.
Blogger: will always be my home page- after writing my prayers in journals on and off, I finally and consistently started and continued my first blog ever. Main focus: Faith and life
Tumbler: inherbasement.tumblr.com
started as a way for me to keep my friends on top of my "store's" happenings and the progress of my post secondary education. Even though I don't sell clothes no more, this blog has become a random mix of visuals, quotes, and updates on my school work.
This leads in to my debate on where to start my third public blog, I find blogger better for long posts as it has a more organize and simple dashboard structure.It is also more clean and easy to follow. In terms of photos though, blogger is lacking and not as dynamic.
Tumblr on the other hand is more engaging and has an easy format for photos, though it can get distracting and overwhelming with all the 'reblog' tabs and million things my followers blog on my dashboard, making you skim a lot and sometimes, skipping over long posts to see the next thing on the list.
Any suggestions or perhaps a new blogging site you know of?
Well, that's all for now, keep in store for more to come!
P.S.Congrats to all of you that got baptized yesterday. Every time I sit in those pews and watch as each one of you makes your 'splash' of faith, it reminds me of when I got dunk. I hope you all indulge in your gift and savour life's moments. =)
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A discovery of Joy
Today officially marks my countdown to all the events I look forward to this month.
-3 days left of classes
-2 weeks until EMC Christmas celebration
-2 weeks and one day until NEAC first December baptism (from what I know of)
-15 days until all my exams/school is officially done and a list of celebrations begin!
-21 days until Christmas is here and a joyous week post Christmas =)
I'm overjoyed just thinking about all these dates. My festive spirit backfires though, because when I'm excited and hyped up, I tend to be counter productive and only want to do things that appeals to me, and not school-related stuff. Calm down girl! You need to get through school BEFORE all the feasting, decorating, celebrating etc!
These days, I've been finding joy in serving God. My latest task is planning the EMC Christmas celebration with two fellow SICs. Sometimes, it feels as if were getting nothing done, other times, I wish our planning would never end. I think I can confirm that I have the gift of planning and organizing events. At one point, I wanted to be a wedding planner (you can actually be one over the course of a weekend o.O and it actually be a practical 'diploma' to have under your belt). Anyhow, that's besides the point. I just feel I have a constant creative engine running in my head and for the most part, is cranking up innovative ideas. But in some moments, I tend to squish myself into the shoes of a leader too much and forget that others' are able to fit into them too (Stop me when I'm a shoe hogger please!)
Right now, I highly enjoy what I'm doing and I praise God for that. Its a blessing to realize this trait of mine and acknowledge the capabilities I have to serve Him. I hope that in the future I am able to have a career that reflects this aspect of mine too(another topic for me to explore some day).
May this season brings new discoveries for you too.
Joy to the World
-3 days left of classes
-2 weeks until EMC Christmas celebration
-2 weeks and one day until NEAC first December baptism (from what I know of)
-15 days until all my exams/school is officially done and a list of celebrations begin!
-21 days until Christmas is here and a joyous week post Christmas =)
I'm overjoyed just thinking about all these dates. My festive spirit backfires though, because when I'm excited and hyped up, I tend to be counter productive and only want to do things that appeals to me, and not school-related stuff. Calm down girl! You need to get through school BEFORE all the feasting, decorating, celebrating etc!
These days, I've been finding joy in serving God. My latest task is planning the EMC Christmas celebration with two fellow SICs. Sometimes, it feels as if were getting nothing done, other times, I wish our planning would never end. I think I can confirm that I have the gift of planning and organizing events. At one point, I wanted to be a wedding planner (you can actually be one over the course of a weekend o.O and it actually be a practical 'diploma' to have under your belt). Anyhow, that's besides the point. I just feel I have a constant creative engine running in my head and for the most part, is cranking up innovative ideas. But in some moments, I tend to squish myself into the shoes of a leader too much and forget that others' are able to fit into them too (Stop me when I'm a shoe hogger please!)
Right now, I highly enjoy what I'm doing and I praise God for that. Its a blessing to realize this trait of mine and acknowledge the capabilities I have to serve Him. I hope that in the future I am able to have a career that reflects this aspect of mine too(another topic for me to explore some day).
May this season brings new discoveries for you too.
Joy to the World
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