twentyten here i come.

Wow how pleasant does that sound? Say it out loud "Twenty Ten", it even looks beautiful; a 2, 0, 1, and 0. I really can't wait for it, its just in a matter of hours. Further more, I can't wait for what God will do in my life from all that I have learn in these few days. Winter conference was yet another wonderful, out of this world, learning and befriending experience. Its amazing what the BIG G. does, its so miraculous and life changing. It all started a few months ago...

So even at the start of 2009, I had decided I wouldn't be going to winter conference, I had gone 3 years already, and the last 2 were in Calgary, so no point in going. I've been to Calgary more then enough, I've experienced a lot from WC and maybe its time to just stay home this holiday and see what new will happen. So that was the mentality I had, up until September, when registration opened, and I still kept on with not going. But my friends that were settled on going kept urging me to go, kept telling me that I will get so much out of it. Everything they said was so true, and I know it was so true and I still kept on with a "No." I realize that friendship was a power source of impact, especially when you want to go to WC again to see all those faces you've seen so long ago but are still memorable. I even made a chart of Pros vs. Cons to going, and it seemed that all my cons were excuses, and money came down to not being a problem with the subsidy and all. Even so, I still stuck with a no and you may laugh when you hear what REALLY motivated me to go. So the week of Halloween, when the original early bird date would end on Halloween night, and where all my friends non stop urges kept telling me to go, I had a dream.

I had a dream that it was already Halloween, and early bird was closing in a matter of hours and I was still in a BIG debate about WC. I told myself if I didn't go I would regret and that I could earn the cost back again, God will ALWAYS provide. The most impacting line I said to myself was "WC will be a good investment on my faith!" Then a person helping on the WC team happened to be at my house, and I ran to my room, grabbed cash, and told him to rush the money and app off before registration was over! Forward a bit, I woke up, I remembered the dream so well that I was feeling regretful. Its weird isn't it, and it was actually Halloween night that I registered and rushed my forms to my church rep. Maybe it was one of those God things, and a while after submitting the stuff and knowing I would be going to WC I didn't think too much about it. School was near its end, and I was studying a lot and I didn't expect much from wintercon because I felt like I knew everything that was going to happen.

So school wrapped up, and I can't spill out how great it feels when you have no 'school strings' attached to you during the holidays. Parties started, gifts opened, weight gain is going to happen and just all the joy of celebrating. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, and I find it so cool, awesome, and even funny that other faiths or atheists celebrate this time with us. Its awesome and its all a shout out to God. Now WC was starting to become a reality, from packing my bags, stepping on that coach bus, ffwd->> arrival at destination: Calgary.

Yes I expected wintercon to be full of new friendships, rice, late nights and fun. What hit me in the face was the main speaker and the workshops I attended. The message came and stuck with me. I knew I had plenty of insecurities but I didn't realize how deep they were rooted and how badly God was calling me to fix my relationships one on one. This was such a slap in the face, my problems were so deep within that I kept denying them and I did NOT want to fix some things, I didn't have the courage to. My pride kept me from apologizing to _____s for the things I did or said. I'm a stubborn girl, I have a ego that I can't break here and there, especially when it comes to family. That is why I couldn't achieve a peace with them. The topic was to be a Peace Maker, not just a Peace keeper; peace keepers settles and maintains the peace but never gets side A and B to love each other, while peace making is establishing that love from Christ, realizing the wrongs and finding a happy resolution to it. I now know what I didn't know and I will always remember this quote from one of my workshops called Lies Girls Believe In: "I rather want what I don't have, then have what I don't want." It has such a deep meaning, and I pray that what I learnt doesn't stay on this page, doesn't stay until New years or the end of January, but flows out of me, helps me in my troubles and may I be this peace maker for Christ.

Amen. Aloha. Shak-a-ra.
Forward 365 days later.

Until Then; Twenty Ten.

Finished?

Well its been a long while since I've blogged, one month and 9 days to be exact. I guess I don't think much has happened, but during this period, a lot did go on and things went by really quick, so much of my thoughts would skim the surface of my mind, and head out.

I'm really happy and at ease to say I have finished my first term of my first year at University. Its a great feeling, and wonderful to not go home after an exam and start studying for the next one. Although my trip was to the Dentist right after my final exam, it felt good to know my teeth were getting a deep scleaning crub even if the prodding and poking from those scary-looking equipment were in my mouth. I am so glad that school is done, and looking forward to this extra long holiday.

So now that some of my Christmas shopping has been dealt with, and some decent chillaxing at home today, I have a place to let my thoughts out. I guess if school was out forever, it be pretty boring. It does get boring when you have nothing to do, and shopping trips does come with a cost over time, literally. So its only right to say, that there must be a balance in everthing we do. If we didn't have periods of tough times, we wouldn't know how to cherish the breaks and time off. But long periods of breaks, just makes you inactive, unproductive, and bored out of your mind. Life is a unrepetitive cycle, and were aim to achieving a equilibrium.

This term has been difficult, frustrating, time-consuming (even if it is 3 hours of class a day, the "home" work after kills), cold, and deprivation of friendships. There's been a lot of adjustments, and Uni has really molded my procrastination into progress and results. Many people maybe changing their initial thoughts of what they are taking, or what they are going to be, and this is a common phase I hear. Fortunately, when I look back on my courses and what I am going into, I am keeping my initial interest; despite the mulitple projects and papers. For now, it'll still be the career path I'm looking forward to and wanting. As for my highschool friends, multiple times I feel deprived of them. I guess I'm not the person to stay on campus after my classes to study, so neither would I stay and wait to hang out with them. We all have different schedules, and even after our school hours, we are all busy. Hopefully next term I will be able to put more effort into my friendships and prioritize my to do lists.

Speaking of prioritizing, I finally realize the life of a Univeristy student. I finally understand how certain people will not be at church because they have to study, or don't help out/participate in a certain event because they are "school" busy. I realize how it feels to be in their shoes now so well because I've been there and my mind has contemplated the "idea" of not going to church for school-related reasons, but good thing I never put those thoughts into action. I believe its a stupid thing to do, lacking the effort to worship God, and its only two hours, although we should be worshipping Him in all that we do. I've learnt to say "No" to certain people or responsibilities I know I won't be able to handle or be capable of going through with a "Yes," but I will always value my faith and my role in my faith.

Christmas is quickly approaching, eight days and counting. I am oober excited, it is my favorite season, and JESUS is the reason. Its a great time of celebration, parties, yummy feasts, gift giving and reflection on the past year, as a new one is right around the corner. 2010 -that sounds so pleasing to the ear, and its so aesthetically pleasing as well. How often does one get to live through a millennium and now this. I'm exaggerating but it really is an exciting festive spirit, and Christmas is different every year, but always similar in meaning.


School is done for the year, but school will come in the new year.