It's already the last day of the year.
Though I don't jump on the new year partying bandwagon or love the fireworks enough to freeze my toes off this time around, I do usually reflect on how the year did go at some point. Today, I especially took the time out to head to Starbucks to finish a gift card I received earlier and to write out my reflections and thanksgiving praises to God.
I realize there wasn't anything that stood out in particular, actually I take that back, at least not in the moment that I was reflecting, but now that I'm blogging, I realized that most people would consider finishing their degree and as of now, school!, organizing a flashmob, and heading to the Big Apple for an internship -especially this last one, a highlight. All these things were 'one-off'' moments, but I found a huge aspect to this year was growth-spiritually, physically, socially, distantly (yes, that is actually a word), and professionally as I started the transition between school and work.
There were times that literally teared me apart emotionally, and times that drew me closer to God more than ever as I made myself surrender my vulnerabilities into His supreme and subtly unknown goodness. I feel I've gained confidence in my social skills, went beyond "comfort zone" walls, and at times changed like a chameleon in order to adapt to my surroundings and those I interacted with. I found myself head deep in my passions, lost myself to doubt, been frustrated with my struggles, praised my talents, counted my blessings, desired more despite content in my circumstances, and realized that I never really do have it together or can hold everything together... because I am not the one to do that, God is and does and forever will.
My social environments has evolved quite a bit, friends moving for work, friends drifting apart, friends getting engaged, getting married, rekindling old friendships, bonding deeper with relatively new friends, family broken, family reconciling, deaths, life, old, new, feelings of loneliness, feelings of joy, living through past memories, dreaming of future moments, it's been quite the year.
With a new year coming, and knowing myself way too well, I already have some plans up in the new air. I don't think everything will go as plan, and if it works to my favour (as in God's will), it probably won't. Rereading my resolutions last year reminded me of how ambitious and uncommitted I can be after a while, so this year, I've even written a disclaimer to the goals I hope to achieve alongside the Golden ones I have since turning twenty-two. I'm still on this journey of discovering much, and much will stay unknown, though I do know that it's never ending so I will have to settle for what much will make of it.
Here's to 2014 with Love.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
It's like meeting you for the first time again...
A little over a month ago, I got into a car accident. This isn't my first collision, but it was definitely the worse in terms of damage. In terms of emotion though, I was in a state of unexplainable peace despite the initial shock and compared to my my previous collision reactions, I was very calm.
How did it happen? Ice on the road, couldn't stop in time and bad judgement in steering reaction time. It was that first and worst blizzard warning snow storm one Saturday night mid November.
Am I okay? Yes. A definite yes.
Was my car okay? Yes... and then a no. Definite no.
Due to the looming darkness late Winter afternoons, it was hard to tell that there was any damage to my car other then scratches. Once all the information exchange was finished with the other party (which took brutally long, a story for another time), I made the longest drive home ever from 97Street northbound towards my house, which usually takes 5 minutes or less.
I didn't know that my front right wheel axle had twisted from the accident and so driving home I heard a loud screeching sound, as if a metal part was scraping against my wheel the whole drive home and at any moment it could've punctured it and my car would've been lop-sided. Yes, what a worst case imagination I had, but to be honest, I felt so vulnerable and scared in that moment that something as such was plausible. The whole way, going probably 5-10km/hr with hazard lights on the whole time and a frightened soul, I was desperately praying for God's angels' armies to bring me home in one piece, I was so close, yet it felt terribly far.
Praise the Lord that I came home safe, and when an Uncle came to check on my car, it was without a doubt a miracle that had got me back, as the wheel was near its impending death.
As such, this month has put me back on public transport, car pooling, and adjusting to others' schedules so I could get dropped off at the place I need to be from time to time. It's interesting how God works to teach me big life lessons, I was complaining a month or so earlier about lending my car to my Uncle visiting, and this incident showed me so much more than just sharing and being considerate of others, besides all the other stuff that happened this past month.
Yesterday, my car finally got fixed, and today, I drove it. It was odd climbing into my car since the last time I was scared for my life in it. I said a prayer of thanks and safety and went on my way.
It sure did feel like meeting my car for the first time again, as cheesy as that sounds.
Drive safe bloggers!
How did it happen? Ice on the road, couldn't stop in time and bad judgement in steering reaction time. It was that first and worst blizzard warning snow storm one Saturday night mid November.
Am I okay? Yes. A definite yes.
Was my car okay? Yes... and then a no. Definite no.
Due to the looming darkness late Winter afternoons, it was hard to tell that there was any damage to my car other then scratches. Once all the information exchange was finished with the other party (which took brutally long, a story for another time), I made the longest drive home ever from 97Street northbound towards my house, which usually takes 5 minutes or less.
I didn't know that my front right wheel axle had twisted from the accident and so driving home I heard a loud screeching sound, as if a metal part was scraping against my wheel the whole drive home and at any moment it could've punctured it and my car would've been lop-sided. Yes, what a worst case imagination I had, but to be honest, I felt so vulnerable and scared in that moment that something as such was plausible. The whole way, going probably 5-10km/hr with hazard lights on the whole time and a frightened soul, I was desperately praying for God's angels' armies to bring me home in one piece, I was so close, yet it felt terribly far.
Praise the Lord that I came home safe, and when an Uncle came to check on my car, it was without a doubt a miracle that had got me back, as the wheel was near its impending death.
As such, this month has put me back on public transport, car pooling, and adjusting to others' schedules so I could get dropped off at the place I need to be from time to time. It's interesting how God works to teach me big life lessons, I was complaining a month or so earlier about lending my car to my Uncle visiting, and this incident showed me so much more than just sharing and being considerate of others, besides all the other stuff that happened this past month.
Yesterday, my car finally got fixed, and today, I drove it. It was odd climbing into my car since the last time I was scared for my life in it. I said a prayer of thanks and safety and went on my way.
It sure did feel like meeting my car for the first time again, as cheesy as that sounds.
Drive safe bloggers!
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