Five Alive

Tonight I will be off to, you guessed it! VANCOUVER! I'm looking forward to it a lot. It's the trip that I have been looking forward and forward to-and now its finally arrived. I'm almost done packing and in a few hours I will be heading to the Greyhound bus station with two other friends. I'm actually looking forward to riding on a long bus ride. I haven't had a 'road trip' since I was in junior high? and snow is pretty, so I wouldn't mind looking out the window and taking in the view God painted.

Vancouver is known for good food, Richmond- even better food in comparison to Edmonton and I just love how alive and festive this city can get. Its a major reason I love to go visit time after time, especially having made so many friends there from Urban Promise, Taiwan trip, and Winter Conference. Yea it sucks to have no family members there and I always tell myself that if UBC had my program, I would go there in a heartbeat. But God has his plans for me, gotta respect them, even if at times I'm clueless about my future.

So Winter Conference, long awaited Canada Chinese Christian Winter Conference. I anticipate attending WC year after year and this year will be my fifth time going. Thinking back its quite a funny story to why I wanted to attend my first ever WC in December 2005. I was only in grade 9, a fourteen year old who was in a phase of spreading the love of God, telling people about Him, and being involved in multiple events. I was running on a full tank of gas. I didn't know where this spirit came from (well God of course, but you know...) and I really had a knack for events that ended in multiples of 5s or 10s. I thought, wow this event must be doing something marvelous if it has lasted so long. When I first saw WC on our church bulletin, I sensed a yearning to go, but I didn't think much of it because it was in Kelowna and I didn't know if my parents would let me, and it was quite costly. But I really really wanted to and to me it was a big thing that it was the '45th anniversary.' In the end, my mom was surprised when I brought it up, but I had permission to go and I never looked back.



This year, is also the 50th anniversary of WC. It amazes me to know how much I have grown spiritually and physically over the years and see how God has worked in me and through WC. Every winter break I look forward to a faith revival, and it means so much to me to be able to attend this with so many other Christians from all over western Canada and praise and worship our Savior-Lord Jesus Christ. Even though I'm heading into my fifth year of WC, I never get bored, there's always something new, always something for me to grow and learn from, and friends to meet.

I'm speechless. I don't want to expect anything this year because I know God has laid out everything already. I just want to take it all in, immerse myself in love, grace, humbleness, and hope that I may be challenged further. I know I will be. I love how they decided to bring back WC to the city it originated in, a city I love and enjoy to be in.





I wish You all the best as 2010 wraps up and 2011 reveals.
Have a Merry CHRISTmas everyone and Happy New Year!

The Power of Estrogen

I love late night talks that can last forever (even though we never seem to have enough time)

I love spontaneity in spurs of the moment

I love talking about deep topics touching on aspects of faith, family & yes, boys

I love being with my sic friends and having a good time, laughing for no reason at all- to the point of tearing up

I love finding out new information and letting my curiosity drive me

I loved last night!

CHEERS to many more.

term ceased: 2010

WOW. I can't believe it. It hasn't even sunk in. This term has worked me good and push me to my emotional and physical limits. I feel so intelligent from all the information I have in my stuffed in my head, which has yet to be released into unknown areas. My mind is telling me I'M DONE! I'M DONE! GOING TO VANCOUVER IN TWO DAYS! PARTY! WINTER CONFERENCE! at the same time... I'm so exhausted.

I'm someone who likes to sleep early, say 11pm usually? but last night I dragged it out until 12:30am... okay for a university student that is not bad at all, I know people who pull 3ams' or even all nighters, but I am none of those. I can't believe I even had the energy to stay up (usually I sleep at 11pm or a little earlier knowing that sleep deprived will do you harm on your test the next day), so I have to thank those who called or gave me a shout of energy (prayer!- Amen to that). So from getting up at 6:45am this morning to heading to school I was brutally sleepy from staying up and trying to concentrate and cram in last minute definitions, concepts, and all that jazz. In between my two finals I was falling asleep on a couch trying to cram for my FINAL FINAL and it couldn't have been easier. My Korean teacher is really straight forward and nice: everything on the test was what on the study sheet she gave us. This test was a great way to end my Fall term.

I really liked this term, I think it has to do with the courses I'm taking. When you have an interest in something, you put more time into what you do and focus better on what you are studying. Having said that, I spent a LOT OF TIME on school work this time and looking back its amazing how I balanced a part time job side by side. God has been great, and I'm glad he forced me to draw close to him in times of hopelessness or situations I had no control of.

Alright, enough of school, CHRISTMAS TIME! I can't wait to go to Vancouver, even if it is by greyhound (yes, its going to be a long ride and I know a lot of you have been jaw dropped when I told you, but I'm so stoke). I can't wait to spend time with my SICs and celebrate Christmas in a city I love. I'm also so excited for what's to come at Winter Conference 2010! That's a whole other blog to expect *hint hint*

Anyhow, I think I just need some rest right now, praise the Lord for being able to sleep in tomorrow!


Done.

& the Countdown beings

Half way through Finals!

10 days until Christmas!

One week until Vancouver!

12 days of

CLASSES HAVE FINALLY ENDED!
YAY!

Exams start in less than a week...
NAY!

Need to start studying & plan my study schedule:
TBA

Christmas is in the air, but I have no time to spare,
as of today

Hopefully in 12 days time, I will jump for joy
and Christmas spirit shall be mine!

=)

Diagnosed

So I feel like I just diagnosed myself through self rehabilitation and who do I have to thank? My course syllabus and mandatory readings. I just finished reading an article in my course pack on "Materialism and the Evolution of Consciousness." I dreaded it at first, but it just kept getting more and more interesting and I felt and urge to blog about concepts brought to my attention.

This article is basically about the psychology of materialism and the drive of our consciousness in regards to making choices. This article states that in life we have three main 'axioms.' First in life there are sequence of events in consciousness; aka experiences, and in order for experiences to appear in consciousness, it require the allocation of psychic energy; attention, hence the last axiom is that the quality and content of a person's life depend on what he or she has paid attention over time.

In one part of this article it mentions how sometimes people tend to build themselves with material goals and material experiences, while being caught up with an unconscious striving for wealth and power: seeking pleasure, instead of enjoyment of one's circumstances. Enjoyment, as defined in this article is doing something not always pleasant, and which can be very stressful at times, but will lead to delayed and more note worthy rewards. On the other hand, seeking pleasure is just being satisfied with just the fulfillment of present want and needs and doesn't produce change, only comfort and relaxation 'in the moment.' Pleasure is plopping yourself in front of a TV screen when you get home from work or school while enjoyment is like a mountain climber, who may be close to freezing, and in danger of falling, but yet they would not want to be anywhere else. Enjoyable "may be physically painful and mentally taxing; but because it involves a triumph over the forces of entropy and decay, it nourishes the spirit." Enjoyment is also said to build confidence, enrich lives, and give confidence in facing the future.

In contrast to the things I have said, it says that when a person feels that there is nothing to do, the quality of experience tends to decline. One feels less alert, less active, less strong, less happy, and less creative and self-esteem declines. The author says humans need an 'experiential' need, focused on some activity that requires attention, because when there is nothing to do, attention starts to turn inward, begin to ruminate and frequently, get depressed. Attention towards ourselves turns to deficits and we become negative and our mood, sour. Our downhill skiing is only interrupted when attention is again engaged by some need that suggests a goal.
Sometimes school or work makes one more attentive than being at home with nothing to do or focus on because you have goals clearly outlined for you, work to be accomplished, etc...

Well, in my case not everything I've stated is true, but it just made me ponder and reflect on why I have been so out of it lately. Maybe it is the lack of things to do, but there is stuff to do, just I'm not doing it. I think I'm just in a state of seeking what to do even though I know what I should be doing and the build up of prior to dos and present to dos list have put pressure on me to come up with to dos and actually do my to dos that haven't been decided on yet.

Yup, I'm speaking nonsense now.

BLOOOD.

Today I donated blood for the very first time! I was really hesitant, and I really dislike looking at blood or getting needles, but I knew I was doing a good thing and I really wanted to donate and help someone in need.

This 'want' of mine to donate blood started earlier this week when I saw an ad in the Metro. Canadian Blood Services said this time of year is when people miss or don't show up for their blood donation appointments, since everyone has their head wrapped around consuming, buying presents, decorating the house and just getting ready for Christmas. I really wanted to do more 'giving' this year, not just giving gifts to friends or family, but to those out of the 'norm.' Giving my time, money, and in this case, my 'blood.'

I didn't even think I be able to donate because I found out from my last body check that I have low blood pressure. If you don't have a 'normal' blood pressure, and you donate blood, that means you may have even lower blood pressure post-donation (seeing that 610ml + 40ml (the sample) of blood is taken out of you) and this isn't good because you may feel faintness or nauseous after. So when I got my blood pressure check, it was quite low (80/59 and they needed at least a 90 for the 'above' number) so the nurse told me to go drink some juice and get some sugar in me and after 15min they would check again. So I drank two juice boxes and ate two Oreo cookies, but I was scared this may not be enough, so when I was in the washroom (and when I was the only one left in there) I did some jumping jacks! I didn't want to come all this way and be half way through the process and yet, not be able to donate, so had to do everything possible xP! Fortunately, in 15 minutes, my blood pressure went up to 91! Success!

So overall the process went pretty smoothly. I found out that sometimes I feel light headed when I bend down and stand back up because of my low blood pressure. Also, this time of year is when blood is needed the most (how ironic its the month with the least donors) due to more parties, accidents, etc... and even though I dislike blood, needles, hospitals, it felt good to give. The process took about an hour and my veins being small and hard to find, they ended up filling the whole bag of blood despite taking 16minutes (average is about 10 minutes). Oh and the best part of all, free food, and hot soup!

If you have time, go donate, you never know whose life you will save =)

Is it time to get addticted to...

Coffee?

Seriously, my energy levels has been so low this past week. Not like anything is going terribly wrong, but everything I'm doing or feeling is tiring. Why am I so tired? Perhaps it's the buildup of work, school, thinking about finals and final assignments to accomplish before the end of the school year?

I really think I got depressed from getting a C+ on one of my four papers that I spent the most time on in mid October/early November. I stressed over it, was near tears over it, tried to make it good, better, appealing to my professor, yet I got a C+?! A mark shouldn't dictate how you think of yourself, but I think this paper initiated a avalanche of tiredness and poor thinking. Maybe the devil is using this time to tackle me as well...

On another note, remember when I mentioned this book I found in the staff room at work ("When God Winks at You") ? Well one day at work I saw it in the staff room but it had moved from a shopping basket to the GARBAGE! I was like this book is not in the greatest condition, but did we really need to dispose of it? I guess I can assume I'm one or the only Christian at work that cares, so I took it. I hope to get around to it once things die down and see what the book has to say to me. I'm sure it was God's purpose.

I need to dig myself out of this tiring rut. ugh.