Touched by God

I recently realize that there comes a point where I reach a change in perspective and meaning while living away from home. During my exchange in Seoul, that happened shortly after a month. Now in New York, I think I have caught myself going through this transition again. It's when I realize God is ultimately in control of where I am, what I'm doing what He's doing, who I meet, how I think, and ultimately why I'm here.

Prayers answered from what was once disguise, messages that draw tears to my eyes, divine conversations and moments that blow my mind...

I've been taking in the idea of how God is using me and have set apart a time such as this for me to come here not just for my own selfish (or so I thought) ambitions. I know anything is possible, but His impeccable measures to cover up my flaws that go before me with His selfless grace that covers me is pretty darn good.  Blown away by this truth, I am in awe of the situation He has placed me in and what this has led to.

I never thought how much my actions and words had impacted, been observed, and even influenced, until living with one of my roommates. She has been someone I've been reconnected with over and over again since our final month of High school. You can say we have quite similar interests which seems to lead us to continually cross paths, but I always thought it couldn't be that coincidental. Before coming, I even suggested to a mutual friend that perhaps from rooming together, I could share Christianity with her. Little did I know that God didn't take that lightly.

This friend I'm living with, she's been exposed and acquainted with Christianity, and I acknowledge  how God has been pursuing a relationship with her through divine appointments and interventions that she shared but never grasped herself. Initially praying casually for her, to having her want to attend church with a fellow Christian roommate and I, you can imagine how blown away I was when she told me last week,

"I felt a breakthrough"

after service. I was so overjoyed and thankful that the holy spirit answered my crying out during intercession and stirred up a better understanding for her to grasp this whole concept of being a sinner and knowing that there is a God that accepts us just the way we are. Just those words gave me more confidence to share my identity as a Christian and this past week, a very deep and emotional unexpected conversation followed. Right away, I knew that God had set this up beforehand and entrusted me to be a tool for His service. I felt courage came easy and asked if I could pray for her, asking God to release healing upon her wounded heart. After an hour or so of talking, I know she felt better, but I don't know how much of an impact that was on her. I might've overwhelmed her with my own experiences and sharing of faith. Though, I was humbled that God had this purpose for me and I knew that regardless of how I did, she was in the best hands of the universe.

Today, I had a touching service and I could go on and on about it, but God really opened my mind to the things He was doing and what He can do through me. As much as fashion is my passion, its nothing without striving towards a present and eternal relationship with the omnipresent one. For all things ceases on this Earth, but His kingdom endures forever. Stemming from my previous post, there will always be lack in what I do if its apart from God.

My friend is progressively seeking and I ask that you lift her up in your prayers. There are many questions I don't hold the answers to and many things I could improve on as a roommate and friend, but I'm glad that God can use me to witness to her even with my imperfections.


Don't doubt what He is About

'...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.' -Ephesians 3:17-19

Welcome to Church

I can't believe I was in a church today.

This past week, I have been digging a pessimistic hole for myself. I didn't really notice it until I reflected back and shared with a friend, but I must say I was pretty bitter and unhappy about quite a few things. I guess with every experience there are its ups and downs, but I came to realize that my unhappiness stemmed from a lack of spiritual support and fellowship. I do miss my home church, my SICs, and the joy of a consistent fellowship. I admit that one huge downside to being somewhat of a jet-setter is that you miss out on what's going on at home, thus when you return, you find yourself having to catch up on all that went on as to be "in" on everyone's lives again.

Since coming to NYC, I've been unintentionally church hopping every week. I haven't gone to the same church twice in a row yet. One reason being is that there were quite a few churches I wanted to check out thanks to recommendations, but also because my fellow roomie and friend is still trying to find a church she can call a permanent home. With any big cities, there are multiple mega churches, but also many smaller congregations that remind me of my church back home. Before this Sunday, I've been going to more traditional and somewhat conservative churches, and I realized how much I missed an upbeat worship service.

Today was the other extreme. I went to Hillsong, the well known Australian worship band and church that has expanded to the Big Apple. Famous enough for those in the christian world to recognize their name, I knew I had to go upon finding out about their existence and the fact that there would definitely be upbeat music. Upon my arrival, I couldn't believe I was heading into a church. It was a dark building with only red spotlights and we were told to stand in the back downstairs or find seats upstairs (there are five services every Sunday, but people line up early to get a seat each service). It felt like I was entering a YC concert event back in my younger teenage days, but also into a place far from what could be considered a church, and I was right, this place was a club rented out. I think their approach is neat as it reaches out to a huge student population (close to NYU campus) and young adult demographic, and it surely does attract people from all places, ages, races and backgrounds to come and check out how "cool" church can be. Hip enough to grab attention, and grounded enough to maintain followers, I was excited to be there, yet questioned if I was at a tourist attraction than a place of worship due to Hillsong's hype and popularity.

Shortly, my concerns were clarified and answered by the pastor who welcomed everyone. First stating bluntly that "Coming to a church doesn't make you a Christian just like going to Krispy Creme doesn't make you a donut," it probably convicted some intentions of their presence. He was an engaging and hilarious speaker, and had an approachable and attention grabbing manner to convict, yet state the truth about being a Christian and putting the focus on God during worship (might I add that he has an awesome Australian accent). Worship did feel like a YC concert, but the loud volume and high energy drew my senses to focus on the lyrics and reminded me of who I am and who He is. The actual preacher was an African American by the name of Priscilla. She is an anointed and knowledgeable woman of God making me boldly vouch that she spoke life into each person there standing or sitting, young or old, married or single, female or male. For me, the holy spirit was using her to break down walls of ugly feelings and emotions in my heart and mind that have accumulated lately, while inflaming a renewed passion for my faith in Christ alone. Her sermon was what I needed to hear.

If I was living in NYC, I think I might just be tempted to commit to Hillsong, minus the standing part. It actually gets spiritually tiresome going to a different church each week as you don't follow up on related sermons, can't build relationships with those you meet, and it makes church seem more like an attraction than a house and family you are committing to-even if temporary.

I have a prayer request, please send a prayer my way to be able to figure out a church to call home during my remaining time here and to always, always focus on our almighty Savior. There are too many distractions living in a big city and with a heavy secular spirit here, prayer is what I can turn to to fuel my light.