In Slow Process

I don't even know where to start, I feel the lack of blogging has actually piled up a lot of thoughts and events that could've been shared, but have just been left processing in my mind instead. March madness totally happened, but with joy, I am glad it occurred as it did. Now into April, things are winding down, and I feel I can process a bit more.

I guess I will do a quick rundown of March just for my own keepsakes at the very least. With work, church, and personal projects going on, meetings and fun times never ceased. Though looking back, I rather have this kind of March than a stressful month due to academics and all that school stuff. Amen to graduating and leaving the days of a student behind-I feel for you students, hang in there!

So March, well a common theme that stuck out was being able to let go of the past, embrace the present, and let the future be what it will. Vague, and perhaps cliche, but these words hold so much meaning for me by the end of last month.

In terms of work, the highly anticipated V.I.Tea Party came and went in honor of Davids Tea's grand opening, one of our first for this year. First time planning, executing and hosting an event of the like. I can't express how well it turned out because it was beyond my and everyone else's expectations. My supervisor and I bonded through this experience and overall it went smoothly despite a few kinks here and there. God was really good, though work has been a struggle at times, God has brought lots of surprises and opportunities for me to serve him.

As for personal, I got to help arrange a friend's makeup trial which consisted of a very hearty conversation between three amongst other insightfully deep conversations that have been spurring as of late. I love one on ones, but I also dislike when a friendship is one sided, so my resolution of focussing on quality over quantity in all aspects has truly been a huge blessing. I delight in these conversations and am so enlightened and blessed by my friends as they are from me. Starting a side project with my fellow HECOL alums and chums, has proved its challenges, but at the end of the day, we are glad we are driven to start something out of a passion to do so than the momentary values of this world. I think Edmonton has the community and potential for new ideas to be fostered, and that is why so many start up companies and initiatives have started here. Crazy to say, but I'm appreciating YEG more and more.

Well, church has got to be the highlight of all highlights. An installation service for our children/youth pastor, worship night hosted by College group, serving Youth, bringing back a drime, ongoing Spring Retreat planning, attending a spontaneous yet divinely orchestrated Holy Spirit Encounter weekend workshop, and again and again God speaking and revealing things to me that I never been upfront with. I've been blown away with this epic stream of events leading up to Easter.

I think more than anything, it's been a very nostalgic and sentimental month in the spiritual whelm of things. It was my tenth anniversary since going to my first Spring Retreat as a 13 year old ten years ago; the Holy Spirit Encounter weekend was AHHMAZJING and brought back the spirit filled memories and experiences I had in Korea back in the days of my exchange-so glad that this movement is starting and going around the Alliance churches (I have so much to say, this will take a blog of its own sometime); and lastly, bringing back a drime that my peers and I did seven years ago was the cherry on top. At first, I didn't think it possible as the youth's overall age and maturity was much younger, but God shone his light and he willed it to happen just the way that it did. My heart is so proud and so full from their domino effect of growth just in this month alone.

What else? Early April, Easter, ended two of my fasts since early January and continued something I started for Lent. The shopping fast definitely brought to light how I spend, justify my spending, and the desire to save money now. The latter fast, I never shared about it, but I'm left with more questions than I had before, so still waiting on God to see where this all leads. I'm also happy to say that I've been sticking and trying my best to read the bible everyday since Lent started. Some days are harder than others, but if anything, March has literally told me that I need a stronger biblical foundation to keep me rooted in all that I do.

Voila, a quick update on how things have been. My apologies for the lack of details in some areas but I honestly don't feel too much of a need to blog anymore to be honest. My focus has kind of shifted if that makes sense, but I will still try to update here as I do like to catch up via blogs, thus, I should continue to blog about myself to be fair.

Happy April =)

Happy Year of the Yeurng MEh MEh!

So another year has come, and along with it, another excuse to eat, celebrate, and reflect! I can't believe this is my first official post of 2015 and kicking off Chinese New Year too. I wasn't that occupied or caught up with stuff, but I guess I just didn't have the urge to blog.

Well lately, I've been pondering on the essence of time. I'm one to correlate many events over a period of time, anniversaries, and even just because I don't believe incidences can be that "coincidental" in life as I know there is a higher being orchestrating everything before me. It blows my mind and bizarres me like crazy how certain people and life happenings will all of a sudden come in the picture when I least expect it, but yet in hindsight, the correlation and timing of everything is so perfectly impeccable. It's just so hard to describe sometimes what point I'm trying to capture because that feeling is hard to grasp a hold of, but only felt in that exact moment, which I sometime like to coin a "divine appointment."

To you, this may sound cheesy and exaggerated, but 2015 holds a very special place in my heart that I never even knew of until 2015 itself rolled around, and the things that followed just seem to keep trickling one thing after another, like a domino effect. I know I have a thing for milestones and anniversaries and this is one huge reason why 2015 is so dear to me, because 2005 was honestly a life changing year for me a decade ago. I am really blessed to have a superb memory because I can recall a ten-years-younger-me and the growth, experiences, challenges, and roller coaster ride of life that year and all the years sandwiched in between this decade. I feel 2015 has me reliving and experiencing to an extent what I've been through then, but in a whole new way-more mature, more grounded, a more older me- because I am obviously ten years older and have changed immensely in character, in attitude, in mindset and more since then. I also think God likes to tease and humour me, because I feel certain circumstances and incidents repeating itself in someways, but on a different type of learning curve and growth aspect as I'm in a totally different stage of life since being in the shoes of a junior high student. He probably also knows that because I'm one to correlate time so much that He chooses to do things that just simply rocks my mind out of correlation.

Rewinding even a bit back, I can recall myself telling a twelve year old me how I couldn't wait to anticipate for the next year of the sheep when it was 2003 because that would mean I would be twelve years older. It was so exciting to dream of where I would be, what I would be doing, my goals, my hopes, my plans, and yet, the epiphany of such didn't hit me until a few days ago when I realize it was the year of the sheep/goat/ram coming up or whatever you like to call this zodiac animal I fall into. When I was twelve, I felt twelve years later felt like an insane amount of time and that I would never reach it, and now, I'm just floored at how it is the year of me again. That also means turning twenty-four this summer, which makes me desire it with anticipation for some odd reason. I don't have an issue with aging, but I feel I actually am living out as a 24 year old since I've held so much underlying expectations towards being this age since being twelve. What in the world?? Life just seems to be taking me by storm!

Life has also never been so enjoyable. I look forward to each day, each week, each month, each moment, each event, each holiday, each dream I get to dream and have to make come true as a moment to live through. I cannot exclaim how happy I am to be out of the school system and working a job I never thought I would want to stay in (did I just say that?). I have so much to look forward to, and even when I don't, I'm so thankful for being able to be still and rest in God's presence. I can honestly feel God resetting my brain and meshing my desires into a mould for His purpose for me to live out. Of course, there are still the downs that arises with the days to days of life, but a renewed perspective truly helps me to see the joys in my everyday and surrender those lows all to God.

I guess one reason I haven't blogged is because I've been having more intentional time with God and with people face to face I want to share with rather than just spill everything online. With a broken laptop (yes, still no intention of buying one soon), I feel I've become really wise with how I use my time and disciplining myself to go on only for what I need to do. Thus, emphasizing quality time with God, with others, and myself. I've also taken on a few personal project and ideas I want to put action towards instead of just day dreaming about so that has kept my time happily spent as well.

I recently learnt the importance of disciplining myself about the power of refusal and reminding myself that saying no is also valuable for me to maintain priority on what I want to enjoy and pursue. I was thinking to myself what God would want me to give up or stop doing to honour Him with my time and talents respectively as I am starting to feel I'm dabbling into one too many areas again. Sometimes I hate to admit it, but the planner in me just doesn't stop. It's such a blessing to enjoy everything I do and am pursuing, but I wish I had a duplicate self to achieve all I set my mind on. When I feel there's not enough time, I know I need to determine what it is that I can stop doing.

Then, as if  His timing had got my soul stirring ahead of time, I received a call tonight asking if I would be interested in heading up a special committee that needs to be formed. All I can say is, with prayer and petition, I definitely need to say no to something to make room for this item He has in store for me if I am to look forward and serve towards this.

God surely works outside of what we denote as time, but there's such beauty in His timing on Earth!