On Graduation

For the longest time, the only reason I anticipated for my convocation was because I was attending so I needed to mark it in my calendar and expect it. I wasn't excited nor did I really want to go. I had deferred it from June due to my travels, but I think I mainly went because I knew my parents wanted to see me cross the stage as I am the eldest and first to finish University and all. So it felt more ritualistic and obligatory rather than a desire to celebrate the end of an academic journey.

As the day neared, I looked forward to it as it was a day off and I got to doll up, but I also started to see it as a wrap up to my academic journey. Thus, I started anticipating it, invited some friends to come despite it being on a weekday and an odd time of day, and wanted it to come and go as to say that my time with the U of A is finally wrapped up.

The day finally came and it started to hit me. From taking public transit to stepping foot on campus again, it felt weird. Odd. Strange. It was a tad surreal that I was finally convocating and a flood of memories of my undergraduate time came flooding back. All those papers, exams, late nights, early mornings, academic events, extra-curriculars, wow everything is all behind me now.

I still don’t think I will ever go back to school, but I am beyond glad to be moving into this new chapter called young-adult-work-life/career-start in my books.

When I went to pick up my gown and all, I still wasn't too stoked, I didn't look forward to having to read over the procedures or having to head to the Jubilee. This sure sounds so pessimistic doesn't it? The procedures to me felt like “school” so I definitely didn't want to be reminded of being in the shoes of a student.

But when I was finally putting on my gown and observing other excited graduates on campus and in the Jubilee, a sense of excitement came over me. I felt like celebrating and I even met a new friend in the washroom. It’s an interesting story of how we met… we both literally just “clicked” if you know what I mean. Anyhow, I was glad to meet her as we were both parent-less and friend-less at the moment so the timing was perfect and we got to know each other a bit and even take photos!

Things started going uphill from here on and I genuinely had so much fun at my convocation. From the photobooth to the smiles and hugs, I realize I had accomplish something big! I think having heard rants about convocation being long and boring and a waste of time probably made me pre-judge what convocating was all about, but I was terribly wrong. I honestly didn't feel the ceremony program was long at all. I felt inspired, the speeches were moving, the videos were touching, and making fun of the president sitting and talking like a boss made my day with a old classmate sitting next to me.

It was also a walk down memory lane. I got to see a very old co-worker I briefly worked with back in grade 12, I saw a T.A. I had in my second year, I saw a fellow highschool classmate walk across the stage, and most of all, seeing and hugging my favourite prof! God’s timing of things is just so peculiar and perfect as I would've never thought that I would cross the stage with these same people that I've crossed paths with. This comes to show (and I'm a firm believer in it) that everyone you meet in life plays a special role in your life, whether it is to learn from, grow with, teach you a lesson, or just to see again.

Well, I can’t believe I'm done, but in all actuality, I'm not. This is really just the beginning of what I do with my degree and where I take it. Though I've mentioned before that retail was never considered an option on my radar, I am happy where God has placed me now and I know it is and will be a period of growth from here on.

Congrats fellow alums!

Indescribable

I can't fully describe how I felt.

I walked into this room, and I immediately felt a surge of excitement, of joy, of immense gratefulness and celebratory evidence all around the room, and this wasn't even where the celebration was at. Faces smiling back at me-new and old, far and near, I felt like tears of joy wanted to burst out of my soul. We were all giddy spirits like graduates awaiting their name to be called up, but this was better.

I sensed something yesterday that lingers strongly in my heart and it was one of the best first steps I've taken into the sanctuary. It was like a zap of happiness from heaven through the doors of NEAC. The sanctuary felt fuller, livelier, and the power of the Holy Spirit was totally taking over. Worship always sweeps me off my feet, but yesterday was a special moment. It was a rare, but domino effect of a worship statement.

After service, I couldn't even wait to get ready and get to the venue for our 30th celebration. I somehow ended up doing some last minute prep work with the MCs and I honestly enjoyed every moment of it. I don't even know how I find myself in these positions, but some how, some way, my love for events just finds opportunities to serve for myself. Feeling the adrenaline rush, time ticking, and expressing stress with those I was with, even though I personally wasn't stressed at all was satisfying. My mind was also thinking about what I was going to wear, how I was going to do my makeup, the photobooth, the videos, the people, the energy, the effort and all the brothers and sisters who was going to be there, as well as all those who make our church what it is today.

I exclaimed at one point that I was having more fun then at a wedding and I'm actually thinking the abundance of truth in that statement. At a wedding, you are celebrating for two people uniting as one, two love birds, and the whole night is focussed on them too, but last night, the celebration was for everyone. We were all uniting as the body of Christ, and God was definitely in our midst and presence as we revisited all the blessings and challenges we've had over these 30 years.

The night ended way too young, but it was a Sunday so I can understand why. However, I couldn't stop recapping the whole night on my way home and at home as I constantly scrolled my social media feed for more. More photos, more hashtags, more smiles, more laughter, more faces. I am totally up for an after party next time. Even today, when I woke up, I was still overjoyed, and one of the first things I did was check Facebook to see if the photobooth photos were uploaded, and to my delight they were! Almost made me late for work, but it was worth it. I think my favourite part was sitting on the floor with other SICs and watching the ending video together. It felt so homey and comfortable just where we were at, like we were in someone's living room. And even though I had the honour to put together this video and watched it a dozen of times already, it felt different watching it then and there with everyone else.

Everything was worth it. One thing is for sure, this is just the beginning and NEAC will surely have many more "30 years!"

Let the JOY remain!

Technology-less

I feel I've logged way too much screen time since the start of September. Though my job does allow me to move and not sit on my butt, I feel I've constantly been partaking in the online world. I guess being in charge of social media at work and also taking on a few "screen" related video projects doesn't help, but I really need to cut it down or at least give my eyes more break time. I honestly feel I need to emphasis discipline in my life in this area (and a few others...) as I've noticed that certain habits that didn't bother me before, are starting to bother me now... I guess there is a turning point to everything-dang, I'm only 23! For example, I feel my eyes buzzing (if you know what I mean) and I don't get a good night's rest if I strained my eyes staring at a screen the night before, so I can't let these things go anymore if I still want 10, 20, 30 years down the road of healthy eyesight and more for myself. A bit of an exaggeration, but I really need to smarten up!

How fitting, because earlier on this month, my beloved HP laptop (don't hate Mac books xP) of three years and a bit decided to crash on me and lose it's internet connectivity. As I mentioned earlier, I took on some video project commitments, so this was quite a hindrance and annoyance as I would have to keep transferring information (photos, text translations) from a ghetto half broken laptop of my brother's that had internet connectivity, but nothing else, to my computer which had everything I needed, but internet. It was so frustrating at first, but as I started adjusting and debating on this dilemma into a good excuse to get a new laptop or not, I realize though that I started to stare at a "screen" less. I would log onto what I needed to log onto at work ( I know, I'm terrible, but it's convenient), such as email and the like, and when I was done, I was DONE. I've ran down my Facebook news feed less and have spent less time "killing" time on the internet and more time being productive with my online screen time as it's been such a hassle lately. So now, even though I'm lying on the carpet using my brother's ghetto laptop to type this blog post (it has to lean against a wall as the screen is broken (yes, it's that ghetto), it doesn't bother me too much anymore,

I don't know when I'll get a new laptop or what kind I will get, but my circumstances aren't so bad. I would put it into the category of first world problems, but it definitely puts my habits into perspective.

So here's to hoping I can cut down my usage even more and invest in more "offline" time with real faces and reality!

Remember to turn your clocks back today! I guess I don't have to worry about changing my broken computer... sigh*

Surprise Surprise

I can't believe my last post was my birthday post. I guess I can believe it, but this period of not blogging makes me feel I've missed out on a big chunk of my life when re reading my posts. I assume it's safe to say that this post might be a long read then. Let's do this Q&A style.

So what went down September?

I mentioned how I am becoming more at peace with the idea of staying in YEG, and though its not what my heart and soul ideally wants, I've come to accept it because God definitely knows my needs better than I do, especially in this present time. He also gave me a restful and maybe even a test of patience kind of summer to prepare me for exactly what I wanted to do, and that is, my current job I've been working at since September 5th!

So what's the dealio with work?

I am working full time at Londonderry Mall as a Guest Services Supervisor and assistance to the Marketing department (which consists of a team of two, so if you count me, three). If you haven't heard the big news, read all about it here. I guess this employment announcement also makes it blog official that I am finally hired and settled? Not really, but from applying to the interview process to signing a line up of paper work to finally starting work, I definitely saw God's hand in helping me get this position I never intended to keep (initially I accepted it because it was a good opportunity and since I had no other options, I thought I would just quit if a better one came along). And as if God likes to tease, He is surely proving to me how wrong I was in thinking that initial thought. Long story short, I actually saw this job posting before I went to South East Asia, so I feel God knew along and kept this job opened for me. It's so bizarre, but I truly feel my name was written all over this job posting but I just never knew it until now, in hindsight.

I honestly never wanted to or thought I would work in retail post-degree, but there are many aspects to this job that is such an answer to prayer that I never thought it would be; such as, getting to run around, do different things, be able to be a self starter, etc. etc. Now that it's been over a month, it hasn't been easy transitioning from full time butt sitting to full time butt kicking at work (who am I kidding?) but it's a blessing in disguise that I really appreciate. As I've progressed along, I felt like this job was the perfect blend of the type of work I did interning in New York in fashion production and my special events experience at Hudson's Bay Southgate. Which comes to show again how God uses every circumstance in your life to nurture and prepare you for the future, or in this case, where I am now so I am beyond thankful!

God also doesn't take prayer requests lightly because one request in my job was to be challenged and boy am I ever pushed out of my comfort zone. From having to communicate to various people and departments in the mall to engaging and building relationships with people I don't know, I am pulling a lot of strength and confidence from God. I am enjoying everything I get to do, but there's an aspect of learning in life that is never finished. That's why when people ask me if  would ever return to school, my answer has been and probably will continue to be a no because I feel there's so much to learn in the work force, through hands on experience, and the mentorship of others that you just don't get in the school system.

How ironic that I mentioned I wanted to leave YEG so bad, because working a 7 minute drive from home does have its perks as well. I don't dread leaving work late or having to wake up in the mornings as work is close by. Which if you've guessed, location was another 'on the list' thing that was prayed for. I was in fact hoping that work would be close by to where ever I would moved to since I would have to move to that new location anyway, but I guess God had different plans in mind.

And the best part?

It's not everyday you get to see a mall transform and be a part of it. Being someone that loves behind the scenes work and curious to the point of no return, I am excited even though the mall is a wreck at this point.

What else have you been up to?

The rest of my time has been with no denial, all consumed to church. If you are seriously out of the loop and have not heard, NEAC is turning 30! I, being one that loves events and being a part of things (I think I have a slight diagnosis of FOMO-fear of missing out), I am just so passionate in being able to contribute and put my efforts in serving and making a difference to NEAC. I feel so blessed to be a part of these 30 years and to see all the growth that has taken place astounds and wows me. I only hope this joy and excitement will continue to be a domino effect. I know 2014 will end off with a bang with the 30th anniversary banquet right around the corner and soon to follow, Christmas! I just cannot wait, more news to come on this one.

I am also gaining so much insight and ideas for the future. I am reminded of those that left, moved on, and those that have stuck through all the way. I don't know how long I will be here, but I know this is where God wants me to be and be a part of right now. There's been so much on my mind lately it's crazy, I really need to write more again so I can keep track and process everything that is coming through my brain these days.

Working full time is a time sucker, but I'm definitely trying to balance my social life as well and other personal projects on my growing lists of to dos. I also want to pick up a few things I started earlier this year such as swimming and building on some other skills, but for the time being, work life is priority as much as I wish I didn't have to work full time...

Final thoughts?

Is it just me or does the blogging world seems kind of quiet? I love to hear how you're doing, so start writing!

Oh and of course, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope it was a turkey full one because my turkey is delayed to next week.

Leaving it all Behind

First off, Happy Birthday to myself!

Not to be boastful or anything, but I feel one can truly get away with much and just be as selfish as they choose to be on their birthday. I feel I got lots accomplished today, perhaps it was doing everything I wanted to do on my own for the most part, but I feel bless in knowing I will be entering a new phase of my life.

I never not look forward to my birthday, I believe every individual's birthday is special and worth a celebration, even a small one. It only comes once a year and is also a great time marker to reflect on one's accomplishments, one's highs and lows, one's growth, one's opportunities and even failures.

A few days ago, I was sitting in my room, staring at my room, the things on my walls, my decor, my bedding, and how it didn't reflect who I am nor turning twenty-three. I realize the last time I decorated my room and put the effort into putting my identity into it was grade six/seven, how embarrassing. Hence the scholastic posters of puppies, chains of handmade cranes, stuff animals on the floor, on my bed, in my closet, and the multitude of Pikachu stickers on my cabinet. I don't know where this surge of inspiration and motivation came from, but the next thing you know I started stripping off these posters, ripped off all the stickers (had to use my nail to scratch off the remaining residue remaining over these years), and un-taped everything I had stuck to my walls (dang, tape was definitely higher quality in the past-this clear tape lasted almost a decade!).

And you know what? I thoroughly felt SO MUCH JOY from doing so! I questioned why I hadn't done so earlier and now I can't wait to fund my new decor and wants for my room.

Perhaps it's the realization that I will be situated in Edmonton that makes me want to dress up my room to suit me more, as I have put this off for as long as I can remember with the hope that I would be leaving. No details yet, but I am close to being at full peace with this decision that God has presented and in the plans He has for me this coming year. It will be different not being committed to school anymore, but change always has trans-formative powers and I just need to constantly remind myself that  God's plans are always good and that He sure knows better than I do. Actually, I am really excited to enter the work force if you can call it that, it will be a directional start at the very least.

I am also in full throttle in living out my identity, dreaming of plans, starting new beginnings, and holding high hopes for this coming year. I am totally refueled and ready to take on this coming 2014-2015. It's going to be a glorious one. I can't wait to get started and see what comes out in a year's time.

Here's to my one, two-three!

A New Start

August is here. I can't believe it. But I love it.

With my post over a month ago, this one will have to sandwich everything in between that went down in July. To be honest, July was quite a hard month for me, and not a very productive one so to speak. Or maybe I just had set some high expectations for myself, but it didn't get on a very high note. Sometimes I wish I could rewind and have structured everything better, but here it goes.

Returning from such a perspective-changing trip and confidence spurring adventure made coming home a concrete smack in the face. It did take some adjustment just to s t o p and refrain my mind from jumping back into the wonderment of my travels and daydreaming what life would be like there then here. I always seek and discover so much growth away from home, and I truly treasure those memories until I have new moments to grasp onto. So I can't gravitate how difficult it was to be back. Not only back, but bored, uncertain, and perhaps even constantly feeling like I don't know where I am going in life.

Job hunting has been an eye sore-literally. Staring at the screen, fixing up my resume, targeting cover letters, reading company profiles, filtering job descriptions and typing up what was supposedly to make myself sound like an ideal candidate became repetitive and dry. It's definitely been a waiting game, and it still is. The thing I ideally thought would happen was that God would deliver favour to my application process in where I think He wanted me to work. I didn't expect it to be quick, but I was hopeful that something 'perfect' was bound to come up sooner or later. I had such clarity and revelation when traveling that I really wanted to go into fashion production, but reality is, with anything fashion, it's unquestionably hard to get your foot in the door as advancement is usually internal. So factoring that in mind I started applying aimlessly, focusing more on the aspect of getting a job than what I wanted to do, even if it was a few steps farther from this initial ideal.

So I guess you can say I got burnt out and quite pessimistic about the prospect of being employed. Maybe I was too set on finding a job ASAP or my expectations are not matching up to what God has in store, but unemployment is not fun at all. I feel I could be doing so much more with all this time I had, instead of constantly being on my laptop. Though I'm holding on to faith that something better will come my way. I gave myself until the end of July to actively look at options in Edmonton (yes, all my desired options so far have been out of town) since staying in Edmonton has never been my first choice, but due to the lack of responses, I'm opted to do so now.

On the highs of this month, I did get to catch up with many friends I haven't had the opportunity to spend time with in a while. I guess I should cherish this unemployed phase more as once I am hired, I probably won't have this luxury as often. Being able to have a seasonal job as a wedding planner assistant has also been a blessing as you wouldn't believe how much joy I have from seeing people get married and all the insight I have to gain from working behind the scenes. And I guess indulging in the festivities of YEG is a noteworthy one since this is my first summer back in two years. So July wasn't all that of a downer, but I aim and hope to make August a new start.

A new start to job hunting, a new start in my perspective on things, a new motivation, and mostly a new month to look forward to as it's also my birthday month! Beyond all this, there's just something so special about August to me. In the past, it be the turning point where I start the dreadful countdown to when school will have to begin again, but this year will be quite different. It's a turning mark to nothing as I don't know what will happen come September. Though, I am holding out for something awestruck and awesome because I know God knows so much better than me.

Cheers, July.

Let's pray harder

Sunny Glorious Summer Camp

When did summer camp feel so short? Or was so short? Or perhaps it was always this short, just that I had such a blast I totally forgot how short it did feel.

The last time I went to summer camp was four years ago in 2010. It feels like such a long time coming and especially since being on committee this time around, it made this summer camp feel especially short, but extra special. I was actually asked to be on the summer camp committee quite late, and thus was the last member to join the fabulous team of six we have in total. Despite initial logistics of not being in town, I'm glad that I was able to serve and pray from afar for the committee and do what I can to contribute when I was physically present.

Summer camp felt especially short for me because I felt like I was almost always doing something (even if it was resting), which tends to make time go by. I was one of the firsts to be there, and one of the lasts to go, which gave me a perspective of all things behind the scenes. I appreciated all the work it takes to put a camp like this together and all the people I got to see and meet throughout this event. I truly am thankful and in honor of every helping hand that made this summer camp a remarkable one. Not only was it our bi-annual summer camp, it was also one that marked our 30th anniversary, which is very endearing to the growth of NEAC.

For me on a personal level, it was a great way to kick off being back in Edmonton, catching up with friendships, meeting new ones, and bonding with old and new. Sometimes I wish summer camp was a a day or two longer so I could continue that conversation I had, start a conversation I wanted to, or got to spend more time with this or that person. The 2 nights and barely 3 days felt like a whirlwind of settling in, moving from one session to another, and finally, packing our bags again. Yet, even with such a quick lineup of scheduling, it felt Deep. Impacting. Spiritual. and one that I would go to again and again.

I'm exciting and in high anticipation for what's to extend from this weekend and more. Thirty years of glory, thirty years of growth, thirty years of highs and lows doesn't stop now. I know God's plans for each and every one of us only goes from glory to glory, especially for a place I can always call my home church. From conceptualizing the idea of being propelled forward and not living stagnant lives into a theme, to hearing it preach as a lifestyle to live by, there is such action attached with "Striving Beyond" that needs to be taken to live it out.

In previous years, I haven't been in town for two consecutive summers, so I'm definitely looking forward to what this coming one has to show and teach me. I feel change is looming heavily these next few weeks, but I know it's only for the better.


See, I am doing a new thing...-Isaiah 43:19