May Day.

SCHOOL IS SO BORING. I want to quit BUT I know there's just two more months left and these 2 months will count alot since the teachers all seem to be wrapping up the week with tests. TWO MORE MONTHS AND IM DUN DUNNN DONE. My school has nicknamed the month of May 'May Disease' due to so many vacant desks.

Then there's Grad. I understand why people say its overated, some people do treat it as their biggest event of their lives; getting their hair done, makeup done and even nail appointments! Plus don't forget to tack on the $$$ they paid for their dress,shoes, accessories, etc. Like woman, I believe your wedding day should be your BIGGEST day but don't get me wrong, it is fun to celebrate 13 years of education and dress up and enjoy the time with your friends and family but wow the cost of Grad some people pay for does fly high! 11 more days.

SO I just want to get out of school, I'm actually more excited for my church's 25th anniversary, oh how fast time goes by, I can still remember the 20th one, and soon UP! so close yet so far so happy yet so scared so adrenaline shaking yet so don't know what to expect kind of mode.

Sadly I sense my group of friends at school seem to be broken in so many different ways. I don't even know how to explain it or where to start, its so complex and all I can do is pray for each of us yet it feels like we are drifting and it sucks, really does suck. Sometimes I feel so conserved from them like I can't even open up -its like an enterwined mess right now and I can only hope that God will detangle this messy friendship.
But to balance things out, God has made me feel so happy at church, its such a happy filling place and I love to be with my sic's & bic's (sisters/brothers in christ) and driming/spending time with them. I have a motto, Get SIC; Go BIG! (BIG= brothers in God.. kind of awkward but yeah I guess it could be BIC, and hence we'll be promoting the pen company hehe)

Church is home and home is home sweet home.

Running away.

I was running away from a crime I did. I had purposely repeated it for the third time and had not learnt a thing. I was constantly on a getaway and living through a hidden life when a cousellor stopped me in my steps and told me I had to stop living the fake life I was in and admit to reality and face my fears. I finally relinquished my self and released the truth. I told the cops I purposely killed someone due to my self-centered & evil wants. I teared and spilled every piece of truth I could've spoken and I cried and found myself, half my face propped against my pillow, arm stressed from sleeping on it.

That dream hit me hard, when you cry in dreams- you cry in reality, is God trying smack me in the face and tell me something? None the less I thought it was a pretty unique dream, and the 'cousellor' happened to be Phil. haha, now that's funny. Maybe I do need to let go of a lot of things that I can't help but hold on to.

Well today wasn't the greatest day, I found out one of my friend might possibly move to Texas, yes the "Hill Billy" Land where people have southwestern accents and have the highest rate of obesity. All jokes aside, I didn't think it hit me that hard but it did. First off I didn't consider her the closest of friends but I come to realize friendships may hit you deeper then it may appear on the surface. Secondly I also realized that a bunch of the people in my group shall I say is off to different places this summer either moving, travelling, interning and highschool is definitly coming to an end. I didn't think I miss it and I still don't cause school isn't my favorite place but I can foreshadow that the last day of school might me a depressing one for me.

I wonder what God has instore for me a few years from now. I really want to know. I love to experience and explore a lot of things but at the same time I want to do it with and for Him.


When you worship God first the rest will fall into place...

Big Family

I'm really grateful for being a Christian, I really am! I know sometimes I lack the show of it especially around my non-christian friends or people that don't care about faith but this past weekend showed me how much I cherish Church and this big family I'm in.

Its funny how sometimes NOT being blood related to someone but being faith-related can be more in depth in so many unexpectable ways. I had a church potluck this past Sunday and I felt so overjoyed not having a potluck since our Sr.High Christmas party and I learnt so much although it didn't seem like it. I really like conversing to adults and how they treat you like an adult and not a kid, speaking of which I'll be 18 in less then four months so entering adulthood none the less although people always tell you to enjoy your childhood while you can, but I'll always be a kid at heart.

When I was younger like elementary years I always thought people in highschool were so 'big, smart, mature' but now that I'm in this stage of life I feel its not that superior, maybe when your younger you look up to and consider people older as superior, just like a status level but I like where I am and God has his plans for all and I mean we all just need to be more thankful for each day we have. Imagine this : What if I got swine pandemic? or What if I get cancer from drinking from my plastic bottle rated 7 (which was made official today by the Health org.)

Anyhow I bought my grad ticket today, $65 bucks, crazy but made me think how fast my senior year is coming to an end and how fast school is going and soon it'll all be downhill and I'll be on the plane flying high to Vancouver. I read a quote from my 365 day quote calender my friend gave me : "A road to a friend's house is never far" and "A true friend is someone who is there when they rather be somewhere else"

Thank God for friendships and friendship that are deeper then family.


"What if I stumble; what if I fall"

Intricate Plan

I really believe God has an intricate plan for us. This past weekend everything, absolutely everything that happened flowed so well together. It was like a big fat interwined christian mess, but of course God's works is never mess, its success!

At YIC, the speaker's topic on God's calling on us was rewinded over and over again from fellowship last night when Phil put us on the spot and asked what we think our calling/purpose/what we want to do in life to an amazing sermon this morning in service about risk and facing our fears so God can further his works in us even more. What perfect timing, God does work out of and within time. Plus the Drime was just the cherry on top of service, hopefully others agree but I hope driming not only bring fresh new ways to worship for the English Congregation, but may it also help us to grow in faith and be open to new perspectives. Great team and I really enjoy doing them as we progress, can't wait for what comes next.

What I realize is that I really like to drive. Not drive as in speeding and being able to go places without the hassel of buses but I love to drive people, I love to be able to use this ability to serve God and provide for those who need rides. When I was younger I always had other parents or counsellors drive me to birthdays or to fellowship events, and sometimes I feel bad, and I kept telling myself when I'm able to, I'll go learn to drive and get my license early so I can be a driver, and here I am now, with a license and using this ability that so many take for granted into a good well used purpose! Maybe that's why I had so much motivation to get my driver's before my 17th birthday. [ Thanks God! ]

Happy belated Easter, well in a way Easter is never belated because the meaning of Easter is within us and from the inside out is the basis of Christianity. God sent his one and only son, Jesus to die on the cross so that we may receive the gift of enternal life, and if we choose to not believe in this miracle, we cannot believe in Christianity as a whole. So give thanks to the Lord for he saved our souls.

YIC last night was awesome, I got so much out of it then I had intended to, and I have been going to it since March 2005. God is full of surprizes and you never know what he smacks you in the face with. Being able to do a drime first time for such a big group of teens was just wow. and hopefully it does remind them about what Jesus has done, is doing and will continue to do. I pray tomorrow will yet be another moving experience for all.

School is moving along quite fast now.. 5 weeks until my grad and fast forward a bit and I'll be on a plane to Vancouver for my internship. I'm tired, that will be all, good night!


Big Calling = Big Personal Costs = Big Reward

One Lord; One Faith; One Baptism;

So today is my 2nd anniversay of getting baptised, April 8th 2007 was the day I got baptised with many others! Oh, how the memories rewind in my mine.

Time has passed so fast and I realized how much I've matured from two years ago, in faith, in relationships, in life, etc. God does work in your life, and its true how only time can tell. Imagine what more he can do 4, 8, 16 years down the road! I always hold on to "With God All things are POSSIBLE" when times are tugging me down to the ground or I feel like sinning, and yea, so that's that.

Now back to my studying for four tests in a row tommorw.


Five Days until Easter; 5 days until I get re-reminded the reason I got baptised.

Revived

"April Showers bring May Flowers"
but its not that applicable at the moment, well Spring break is over and I'm not dreading school, because I'm looking forward to Easter.

Today I finished the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, when I started on Ash Wednesday, I thought I would finish exactly on Easter Sunday, but I forgot that 40 days of Lent doesn't include Sundays, but I guess its good I finished today because in the book, on Day 40 it challenges you to write out your personal Life Mission Statement, and since the 1st and 2nd time reading through I didn't do this, third time shall be a charm! So here goes my written Purpose that lasts enternally, not earthly goals leading up to Easter and more!
If you have never read this book, I really recommend it to you because its a daily devotions that help you as you journey through your Christian life. Good read indeed, and encourages you for God's purpose!

Many things stuck out to me, and it motivated me to do more for God, expecially witness to those I haven't. My cousellor at fellowship has been encouraging us too, and it hit me hard when he wanted to have lunch with us at our highschools and bring a friend we've been trying to bring to Christ. Sadly, it hit me deep down that I haven't really tried to bring any of my friends to Christ expect pray for them once in a while, and that I should make it a purpose of mine even if there are fears of losing these friends. I think such fears are doubt, being judged, and maybe considered a 'obsessive Christian' to them. But despite these things, I learnt that Satan will do anything to keep you from spreading the word, and that's what makes him happy, well it time to make him SAD and strive for God. Hopefully I will be off to a good start.


"When God's at the center of your life, you worship. When he's not, you worry" -Rick Warren