I GREW!

Haha! I wish I did grow a few inches taller today, if only puberty didn't cease in my life yet, but this day welcomes personal growth in non-physical ways.

I'm excited already. Today is the day I unintentionally, but with anticipation have waited for. I am a whole new number today and pun intended, a new whole number too (when is an age never a whole number right?)!

My single digit and teen years are before me and today shuffles in a new decade of life. Two Decades has passed already. I still remembered the day I turned ten and told myself 'I'm a DECADE OLD,' now I'm ready to make that two decades proud and clear. I don't feel old, twenty is anything but old; there's still plenty of learning to absorb, more room for me to quench, and so much life to saturate myself into.

This past year has taught me a lot about myself. Mentally, I've been stuck in the era of the teens and I remember that it wasn't until Winter Con '10 that God had really told me to grow up(you can read that post here). Soon later I was situated in one of the worst terms ever and I still recall that blanket of stress and struggles I was wrapped around in the dead cold of March. I was force to be in a balancing act between commitments and schedules and assignments after papers after exams week after week after week. I'm sure glad that's over! Ironically, not so long after, I blogged about wanting to be challenged because without challenges, one can only be so happy with being where they are at.

Relationally, I understand myself in particular ways I haven't before. As cheesy as it may be, I 'found' myself in new ways. I'm more clear on what I'm looking for beyond friendship (well maybe not quite but you get my drift) and through an expected epiphany or not, every moment of life delivers a purpose, a lesson, a moral. I know me better and I acknowledge the abundance of blessings and passions God has blessed me with as a well-rounded person. This August has been a noteworthy month of reminiscent memories from the past. I reflected on thoughts I always pondered on but never had shared. I'm starting to untie many strings within.

I can't finish this post without mentioning the spiritual factor. Its always surrounded me in every aspect of my life, but its been the most prominent as of last month. My post, How it all started pretty much summarizes the miraculous doings of the Lord. Every time I share about that crazy Friday, my mind is speechless despite non-stop emotions and feelings being poured out from the heart. Lately, I feel God being persistent in some parts of my life I rather leave undiscovered at the moment. I'm not ready to delve into these areas of unknown, but who knows when I will be ready. Well, He definitely will and I will just have to wait for what 2-0 has to reveal.

Just by skimming my blogs I`m in recognition of the happenings in my life. Last year I had 41 posts in total, and today this blog has reached its 41st. I'm beyond thankful for all that has occurred and what I have accomplished as of today.

Life is not without its superficiality though- the world is ugly, reality is harsh, people are sinful, and yes you can be influence by all of that, but I believe that your the only person who can keep your own dreams alive, remain that childhood innocence at heart, mature in unseen ways, judge everyone as an infant, clench your hands into hope and never let go.

Dear 20:

I embrace you and take you on like no other age before. Love me, mold me, inspire me, and guide me with help from the higher hand. This year will be magnificent. Extraordinary. AND, even captureable (Thank Yous to you & you & you & you & you & you & you & you & you & you & you & you <3 !)

Yours Truly,
Sarah Pho

Cheers!