twentyten here i come.

Wow how pleasant does that sound? Say it out loud "Twenty Ten", it even looks beautiful; a 2, 0, 1, and 0. I really can't wait for it, its just in a matter of hours. Further more, I can't wait for what God will do in my life from all that I have learn in these few days. Winter conference was yet another wonderful, out of this world, learning and befriending experience. Its amazing what the BIG G. does, its so miraculous and life changing. It all started a few months ago...

So even at the start of 2009, I had decided I wouldn't be going to winter conference, I had gone 3 years already, and the last 2 were in Calgary, so no point in going. I've been to Calgary more then enough, I've experienced a lot from WC and maybe its time to just stay home this holiday and see what new will happen. So that was the mentality I had, up until September, when registration opened, and I still kept on with not going. But my friends that were settled on going kept urging me to go, kept telling me that I will get so much out of it. Everything they said was so true, and I know it was so true and I still kept on with a "No." I realize that friendship was a power source of impact, especially when you want to go to WC again to see all those faces you've seen so long ago but are still memorable. I even made a chart of Pros vs. Cons to going, and it seemed that all my cons were excuses, and money came down to not being a problem with the subsidy and all. Even so, I still stuck with a no and you may laugh when you hear what REALLY motivated me to go. So the week of Halloween, when the original early bird date would end on Halloween night, and where all my friends non stop urges kept telling me to go, I had a dream.

I had a dream that it was already Halloween, and early bird was closing in a matter of hours and I was still in a BIG debate about WC. I told myself if I didn't go I would regret and that I could earn the cost back again, God will ALWAYS provide. The most impacting line I said to myself was "WC will be a good investment on my faith!" Then a person helping on the WC team happened to be at my house, and I ran to my room, grabbed cash, and told him to rush the money and app off before registration was over! Forward a bit, I woke up, I remembered the dream so well that I was feeling regretful. Its weird isn't it, and it was actually Halloween night that I registered and rushed my forms to my church rep. Maybe it was one of those God things, and a while after submitting the stuff and knowing I would be going to WC I didn't think too much about it. School was near its end, and I was studying a lot and I didn't expect much from wintercon because I felt like I knew everything that was going to happen.

So school wrapped up, and I can't spill out how great it feels when you have no 'school strings' attached to you during the holidays. Parties started, gifts opened, weight gain is going to happen and just all the joy of celebrating. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, and I find it so cool, awesome, and even funny that other faiths or atheists celebrate this time with us. Its awesome and its all a shout out to God. Now WC was starting to become a reality, from packing my bags, stepping on that coach bus, ffwd->> arrival at destination: Calgary.

Yes I expected wintercon to be full of new friendships, rice, late nights and fun. What hit me in the face was the main speaker and the workshops I attended. The message came and stuck with me. I knew I had plenty of insecurities but I didn't realize how deep they were rooted and how badly God was calling me to fix my relationships one on one. This was such a slap in the face, my problems were so deep within that I kept denying them and I did NOT want to fix some things, I didn't have the courage to. My pride kept me from apologizing to _____s for the things I did or said. I'm a stubborn girl, I have a ego that I can't break here and there, especially when it comes to family. That is why I couldn't achieve a peace with them. The topic was to be a Peace Maker, not just a Peace keeper; peace keepers settles and maintains the peace but never gets side A and B to love each other, while peace making is establishing that love from Christ, realizing the wrongs and finding a happy resolution to it. I now know what I didn't know and I will always remember this quote from one of my workshops called Lies Girls Believe In: "I rather want what I don't have, then have what I don't want." It has such a deep meaning, and I pray that what I learnt doesn't stay on this page, doesn't stay until New years or the end of January, but flows out of me, helps me in my troubles and may I be this peace maker for Christ.

Amen. Aloha. Shak-a-ra.
Forward 365 days later.

Until Then; Twenty Ten.