Lately, I've been questioning how God is using me in my position at the mall and how much of a witness I am being on the job. There have been incidents and conversations where in hindsight, I feel I could've mentioned something about my faith or said something better. To be honest, sometimes when someone comments on religious topics or their views of religious matters, I get intimidated and shy away from stating my beliefs and perspective at peril of risking a border line heavy religious discussion. Other times, I honestly just don't know what to say, especially if someone voices a negative experience of the church/people and I can't help but agree with what it was like to be in their shoes. Also, as I'm still fairly new on the job, it's one of those things where I try to gauge how far my expression of my faith can go before I get into trouble for expressing too much spiritual views at work. Since I'm new, I'm cautious about stepping on others' toes.
Thankfully, there are a handful of Catholics, Muslims and Christians that I do work with and so it has made it easier to an extent. I really appreciate and look up to how upfront Muslims are about their spiritual "rules" for lack of a better word and how open they are about stating their beliefs and values. I feel I lack the confidence and boldness to do so, but when I hear and see them do it, I feel I shouldn't be hiding my faith or being too careful of what others will think. It serves as a good reminder for me because often I care more about the judgement of people, than the judgement of God.
I also recall one conversation with my supervisor about sponsoring stuff for a church. She said that in a public organization, you should always stick to straying away from borderline support of 1.politics 2.religions and 3. I can't remember this one right now, but I can see her point. As a public organization such as a mall, you wan't to do and support things, people and places that have market value and bring neutrally positive exposure to the mall. You don't want be too liberal/conservative, or religious in any sense to steer clear that the public's organization is voicing and imaging itself closer to one end of the spectrum. However, it's hard when you believe differently and want to show your faith on the job of course.
Anyhow, on a somewhat side track topic (the relevance will follow), I was watching the award ceremony for a HK broadcasting company, TVB, tonight and I didn't expect to be enlightened in the way that I did. I watch it every year; in fact, I grew up watching HK dramas with my family. Over the years, it has lessened due to the busyness of school and all, but I do enjoy watching them, plus it helps me to retain my Cantonese! So as with every awards ceremony, there are always speeches following the winner's name being called up and over the years, I always remember the ones who thank God first or somewhere along their thank you speech. I always thought it was cool that a celebrity I admire or really enjoy watching is a Christian. That foundation always sparked a further interest in them as I felt like I had a huge similarity. This year, not only was there multiple Christian artists who thank God, one actor even requested the directors and board of CEOs/management to excuse him as he said a prayer right there on stage, right at the podium, in front of the audience and thousands of viewers to pray to God. I found myself getting emotional as he closed his eyes and said a quick prayer of thankfulness and for God to shower his blessings on everyone present.
I felt really touch because I felt like the fears and hardships to pronounce your faith in an industry such as the entertainment world couldn't compare at all to what I face-it must've been a bazillion times more difficult, and yet they've done what I think is profound. The best winning actor of the night even laid out his struggles of pride, ego, jealousy etc. and made an underlying analogy of how having children has helped him to let go of those selfish pursuits knowing their love for him is so great. My dad even commented that he felt like he was preaching lol. Regardless, it's a good reminder for myself. I've been trying to appeal to many people and events going on lately, and it's a VERY good reminder to know that I can never ever do it on my own, nor can I be that "perfect" Christian image. I need God, and everyone else does too, so there's no excuse to not take that bold step. I never know who will be touched by my acts or the possibility of refraining others from God's blessings if I keep my mouth shut.
I'm learning to be content with other's ridicule and not to take it too personally because I know I can never appeal to everyone. There will always be those for you, and also those against you.
"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything"
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
-Matthew 5:10
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