Faith & Passion

Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further― Søren Kierkegaard

Faith and Passion were the two main topics of the English Adult talks in this year's Be.My.Everything Winter Conference theme.  I don't think it could've been spoken at a better timing, at least for me personally. Since coming back from Korea, I've been struggling to find that passion in my faith and in others that I have experienced during my exchange. Ironically, I realized coming back that this year's speaker, Pastor Dan Ho, was the English Adult speaker at my very first WC back in 2005. This is significant because I had had such a strong desire to go to English Teens due to my first WC speaker, Wayne Adams' return. I've been waiting all these years for him to be a WC speaker, and the year he comes back, I realize that my faith is at a different place and it wouldn't be the same being situated in the Teens Program like I was seven years ago. Yet, I don't think I missed out in anyway, and if anything, I gained more than I would have as God spoke through another speaker who had been there with me at my first ever WC - I just never realized it. 

Faith

Is everywhere. People place their faith in so many things, and most of all, in themselves. One thing that stood out to me is how personal our God is. There may be billions of people on Earth, but God still has a unique plan and purpose for each one of us. We are all a gem in his treasure box and with Him by our side, there are never coincidences. 

I easily put my faith in so many places with acknowledging it. My education, my career, my family, my friends, my-self. I realize how unfortunate this is when first and foremost, my trust should Always be in the Lord's hands. Timely, God is showing me what it is He wants from me. I know longer need to have expectations going into conferences or retreats because as long as I make myself available, God will have expectations for me instead.

Passion

As you mature in your faith, you become more Christ-like, and when you reach a certain point so to speak, your are able to acknowledge how your heart aligns with His. It's hard to pinpoint when this is, everyone is different and its a spiritual journey you have to discover for yourself. At this time of my life, many people question where I am going next, what I will be doing, and despite being my fourth year, I honestly don't know. The decisions are too abundant with too many places I want to go to and multiple employment routes I want to embark on.

I've been so caught up in my passions that I no longer know if what I want to pursue is what God wants me to pursue. He's my creator, the designer of me, so what I'm passionate for must be something He's passionate for. Yet, I'm not sure if what I'm seeking should be what I'm seeking. I guess for now I just need to just listen to His still voice and follow the light he shines on my path for me to follow. I feel I'm a step closer, but when doubt kicks in, I lack the faith to make a passionate decision.

But, a passion, Jaeson Ma had said, "If you don't have a passion worth living for, you don't have a passion worth dying for." This WC, I feel so challenged, a challenge that is beyond me because it's making me question every aspect of my choices. 

As each day of conference progressed, I find myself being blown away by all the revelations I've been receiving. There was so much to soak up that I couldn't let anything slip away as I speedily took notes. The worship moved me and sparked a bold worship I never knew I had in me. The strangers in my bedside group became dear sisters in Christ that spurred growth in one another. 

From seven years ago, I am speechless at where my faith is and where this passion is going to take me seven years later. 

As reason is a rebel to faith, so passion is a rebel to reason. - Browne, Sir Thomas