Taking a holiday from tradition

Literally.

My parents decided to take a holiday to Jamaica this year and flew out on December 23rd. Since then, its been quite a different atmosphere at home already. Two bodies less in the household is one thing, but it feels sort of strange to have my parents away from us three for Christmas for the first time ever. I wasn't home for Christmas last year since I spent my Christmas in Vancouver prior to winter conference, but having it work the other way around is sort of odd. I guess its because Christmas is seen as possibly the only holiday of the year where close and extended family members fly in to one destination to gather around and feast, share, and inform each other of the latest family news. Having my parents fly out and away for a destination holiday seems to counteract this perception, but I'm sure it's still very enjoyable and relaxing to be away from the usual sensation of Christmas.

Personally, I'm breaking a personal tradition as well. Since 2005, I haven't been in town for the full two weeks of my Christmas holidays. This is because since my Christmas break in grade 9, I had started a new tradition to attend winter conference, except for one year in 2007 when I went on vacation to HK. Now that winter con is two days away, I'm getting a sappy feeling that I won't be going, especially since this year's conference is back in Kelowna where it all started for me. After last year's 50th anniversary, I didn't know if I wanted to go this year as I've been going for the past five consecutive years. Winter con never ceases to help me grow in my faith and end my year on a spiritual high note, but having known then what would be coming up for me, I wasn't sure.

Despite feeling that way earlier on, I was asked to become a church rep and that spiraled into my role of promoting winter con at NEAC, and even signing up for the conference itself (being a church rep doesn't mean you have to attend though). For a while, I was looking forward to this year's conference, after all, it is in Kelowna, at the Grand Okanagan Hotel, where all my amazing memories from my kick off year will come flooding back. At that point, I didn't know of my acceptance to my student exchange, nor was I fully sure of my decision. I wouldn't mind going, but I really felt the need to just slow down and have an actual "break," since I was pacing through a highly demanding and constantly occupied term. Along with my unconfirmed plans for 2012, I really didn't need to be away this holiday. I knew that I would have my fair share of departing from Edmonton and meeting new people. Fast forward and my circumstances absolutely changed, my study abroad plans were finalized and that stopped me from hesitating to process a cancellation towards my winter con registration.

Now, here I am feeling sad for myself that I won't be attending. Its not like I would actually go if I still could, its just the fact that I will be missing out from something I have been doing annually. On the bright side, I am really glad I will be staying in town for my full break and just having more time to myself either working, catching up with friends or hoping to grab some bargains over the course of this week.

What's that saying about some things are just meant to be broken?

Until next year, traditions.


Merry Christmas Bloggers!

Tis Christmas Eve

...is quite a different scene.

The most drastic change in scene is in fact our weather. What's up with the three to five days of extreme temperature drop and wind chill mid November, followed by random drip drops of rain from time to time, and a hovering around 0 degrees winter Edmonton is having? I never thought I be saying this, but I wouldn't mind the temperature dropping below -10C, having a pile of fluffy white snow on my lawn and being able to bundle myself in layers upon layers of chunky cable knitted sweaters hidden in the bottom of my closet. Hello old man winter, did you sleep in this year?

I remember the days of my childhood when style was not a factor to consider when zipping up in puffy winter jackets and bulky overall snow pants so that you could jump into a meter high of cold clouds. Making snowmen, flapping your arms and legs to form snow angels, throwing snow at one another, building snow forts, tobogganing down small hills, and braving the chill after only being outside for twenty minutes, are the days of my childhood I wish I could pause and repeat over and over again.

As I get older, I find that this festive season was more fun as an eight year old girl. What I mean is that as a child, you have that childhood innocence where you are gullible of a jolly old man coming down your chimney (even if you don't have one)and anticipate for Christmas morning so that you can run down the stairs with impeccable speed upon getting out of bed, and begin tearing apart the wrapping paper keeping you from your mysterious new present. I would love to do what I did as a kid, but its just not the same. Christmas will always remain an important and favorite holiday of mine, but I feel a change in the ways I celebrate this annual season. Nowadays, I treasure the 'fun' of seeing family and friends at Christmas gatherings, hosting Christmas parties, laughing over eggnog and lattes, singing Christmas carols, taking festive photos, and knowing that Christmas is not about receiving.

Early on this season I had decided not to do presents this year. Aside from the two Christmas gift exchanges and the minor annual family giving I'm partaking in, that's about it. Another thing about getting older is that you don't really care for gifts no more. Its not what Christmas is about in the first place and secondly, you realize you really don't need anything. Everything you wish for is predominantly a want. You also feel that you are able to get yourself what you do what in the exact criteria, rather than telling someone to get you that "thing" and wonder if they are getting exactly what you asked for. Having said that, I still like to receive gifts, its nice to be thought of and receive a gift from someone, especially when its unexpected, but its just not a priority for me no more. Instead of materialistic things, I wanted to do other means of giving. In some more subtle and indirect ways than others, I gave my gifts, talents, time and money versus the typical means of giving this year.

Growing up means that my superficial and surface level meaning of Christmas is now behind me, while a more significant and sensible one is before me.

Tears & Smiles

What a weekend.

It has been non-stop since Friday and I haven't even had time to process all my on going thoughts. This past weekend really kicked off my Christmas spirit (6 more days!). Four out of my five anticipated Christmas items are now crossed off from my last post and I couldn't be happier with how the EMC Christmas celebration turned out. Despite some odd and ends and crazier moments, I'm glad it was a night of fellowship, food, and fun just as we wanted it to be. The new basement was a cheery atmosphere of laughter, hilarious moments, ridiculous question and answers, and the gift of giving shared by one another. As one of the hosts of the night, I felt the unity and togetherness of our church as we bonded over festive activities and Christmas carols.

Last night, at the 43rd baptism, a fellow brother in Christ mentioned how he always found himself going back to church despite the ups and downs in his life during his testimony (props, I enjoyed your testimony a lot!)and when he mentioned that, I felt the same way. I always anticipate attending special and regular church events and being able to be present makes me feel comfortable and the sense of belonging to a loving community. I believe church should make everyone feel this way. One should walk into church feeling welcomed and wanting to be there. Though, I know some people who may not feel this way when entering a church, and perhaps even feel a cold vibe, which I find very unfortunate. Anyhow, that fellow brother's testimony stirred an unexpected and sappy feeling in my heart knowing that I will be away from my home church in the near future. Church has always been a part of my life, and I really cherish all those wonderful memories I have as a member of this wonderful family in Christ.

So without further ado, I announce on this blog that I will be going to Seoul, South Korea for a four month student exchange next term. Its been a long process and now that this term has finally ceased, I have a long break to prepare myself and blog more about what's to come. I will be starting another blog soon in regards to this study abroad, so I'm going to designate and "define" my blogs.

Blogger: will always be my home page- after writing my prayers in journals on and off, I finally and consistently started and continued my first blog ever. Main focus: Faith and life

Tumbler: inherbasement.tumblr.com
started as a way for me to keep my friends on top of my "store's" happenings and the progress of my post secondary education. Even though I don't sell clothes no more, this blog has become a random mix of visuals, quotes, and updates on my school work.

This leads in to my debate on where to start my third public blog, I find blogger better for long posts as it has a more organize and simple dashboard structure.It is also more clean and easy to follow. In terms of photos though, blogger is lacking and not as dynamic.
Tumblr on the other hand is more engaging and has an easy format for photos, though it can get distracting and overwhelming with all the 'reblog' tabs and million things my followers blog on my dashboard, making you skim a lot and sometimes, skipping over long posts to see the next thing on the list.

Any suggestions or perhaps a new blogging site you know of?

Well, that's all for now, keep in store for more to come!

P.S.Congrats to all of you that got baptized yesterday. Every time I sit in those pews and watch as each one of you makes your 'splash' of faith, it reminds me of when I got dunk. I hope you all indulge in your gift and savour life's moments. =)

A discovery of Joy

Today officially marks my countdown to all the events I look forward to this month.

-3 days left of classes
-2 weeks until EMC Christmas celebration
-2 weeks and one day until NEAC first December baptism (from what I know of)
-15 days until all my exams/school is officially done and a list of celebrations begin!
-21 days until Christmas is here and a joyous week post Christmas =)

I'm overjoyed just thinking about all these dates. My festive spirit backfires though, because when I'm excited and hyped up, I tend to be counter productive and only want to do things that appeals to me, and not school-related stuff. Calm down girl! You need to get through school BEFORE all the feasting, decorating, celebrating etc!

These days, I've been finding joy in serving God. My latest task is planning the EMC Christmas celebration with two fellow SICs. Sometimes, it feels as if were getting nothing done, other times, I wish our planning would never end. I think I can confirm that I have the gift of planning and organizing events. At one point, I wanted to be a wedding planner (you can actually be one over the course of a weekend o.O and it actually be a practical 'diploma' to have under your belt). Anyhow, that's besides the point. I just feel I have a constant creative engine running in my head and for the most part, is cranking up innovative ideas. But in some moments, I tend to squish myself into the shoes of a leader too much and forget that others' are able to fit into them too (Stop me when I'm a shoe hogger please!)

Right now, I highly enjoy what I'm doing and I praise God for that. Its a blessing to realize this trait of mine and acknowledge the capabilities I have to serve Him. I hope that in the future I am able to have a career that reflects this aspect of mine too(another topic for me to explore some day).

May this season brings new discoveries for you too.


Joy to the World

Looking Forward

God is my hero.

I can be a broken record and elaborate on how wonderful He is in all the little things he does for me and makes me feel. I know that in my weaknesses, he is strong. He is able to conquer all things, and make all things possible. I may not be aware of this all the time, and I may even stray away and forget that its not how I should be pleased by God, but the other way around.

My last post was miserably in the dumps. Yes, I have lots to do, yes, sometimes I feel like I'm losing it, and yes, sometimes I say yes to things too often to too many commitments when a no is needed. All those feelings still reside in me, but I am more at ease, have found a new joy, and am looking forward to all things festive. Its utterly amazing how God can allow me to feel this way even knowing I only have eight days of school left and a load of sewing, drawings, writing, and presenting to do!

There's no point wasting time worrying, when I can get down to business and rev my productivity engine instead.

I think my new found quote has helped to remind me of what's worth striving for:

"What worries You, masters You." - Haddon W. Robinson

Well, best of luck to all you students out there. Just imagine the happiness you will feel after your very last exam.

Make it a strong ending.

Occupy This

I'm Exhausted.

I thought this term would be pretty straight forward for me, but no its not. I anticipated busyness and stress this month, as with every third month of my semester, but I'm doubting to the point that I'm not having faith in God. I tell people, 'God will never give you more than you can handle,' yet, I'm not believing in it, I'm such a hypocrite. I'm not having faith and I'm trying to. There's so much on my plate and I feel I may have to just let some items slip by and hope for the best, but I really don't want to do that! Though, I may have unintentionally done so already...

Last weekend I was bombarded with the work from my sewing class. If I was to spend the amount of hours sewing as with studying, I would probably be an A, if not A+ student with a at least 3.9GPA (I'm bluffing I know, but it sure feels like it). 35 hours and counting, my oh my, I'm really taking a second look into my future of being hunch back and having a bifocal prescription of +1000. Speaking of which, I've been thinking about my future a lot lately, and it just adds another dish to my already bloated life. Therefore, due to so much focus towards this one class, it totally left my mind that I had a bunch of Korean homework due for Monday and a vocabulary test on Wednesday which I ended up guessing on... and probably flunking, and I tend to use my agenda wisely and write every single thing I need to accomplish until there is no more space for me to write in it. I believe I have reached my memory capacity, mind you, my dear and faithful memory hasn't been as faithful to me these days. I find myself being so forgetful, is 20 the new 40? AHHHHHHHH!

The more I think about what needs to be done until the very last day of this term, the more I just want to cry, sulk, and complain. I remind myself to focus on God and rely on him, but it may just be one of those phases as a student. I'm not lost, just tired, really tired, and out of fuel. I want these days to slow down, I want rest, I want to watch TV, I want to splurge, I want peace, I want clarity, I want to fellowship (I know your giving me the 'tsk tsk' look, I've kept track, I haven't been to fellowship for 4 weeks now, but it sure bothers me more than ever). I have constantly been occupied with something, physically, socially, or mentally, and man, can someone just crash into me please so that my outer and inner vehicle will just stop? Either that, or I will break down on my own.

This is my rant of the night, Thankyou for listening, and all I want for Christmas is sleep and prayer.

God, I really hope I will grow from this and acknowledge what I do not know, see what I cannot see, and brave, what I don't want to bear.

Relief

Hello November??
Say What?
ALREADY?!

I can't believe this term is more than half way; time is just ticking and tocking away. It seems like the more things I have to do, the less I notice how the duration of the school term is shortening day by day, week by week, and there goes a month.

Where is daylight saving by the way? I really can't take another pitch black 6am morning call for class no more.

I was in exasperated pain this morning, and it had to do with the washroom, so to save you from another disturbing post like this one (but quite the opposite), I'll just leave it for you to interpret.

Thus, I had planted a seed in my head that it was going to be a bad day. Though, I did managed to do a quick 180 with my mindset and was determined to make it a good one and not let any negative aspects get to me since I tend to dwell on one negative factor for a while.

As usual, today I went to class, went for a run, went to another class, went to my sewing lab, got lots accomplished, and there goes the same routine as any other day. Nothing special happened, nothing bothered me, nothing stood out, my education filled day finished its course and I was heading home.

I took out my phone to check the time and I realized I had missed a call and I had one voice message. So I called my voice mail and I listened. The more I listened to this unknown voice, the more interested I became in what he had to say, and by the end of the message, I was completely overjoyed. I called the person back to confirm everything and there I was sitting happily as I waited for the bus driver to drive me home, sitting and smiling over a scholarship I am now the recipient of.

I couldn't help but say a quick prayer and realize that its been a while I prayed in public. All the while, I felt it was an encouragement from God, relieving all my worries, doubts, and circumstances for the future. When my to do list is a mile long, I forget that He should be at the top with me to endure through everything, not at the bottom where "I'll get to Him when everything is done" mentality. I feel so blessed that God never ceases to provide and surprise me in the most unexpected ways.

And when He's not on my mind, I'm always on His.

P.S.
Dear Fruits & Veggies:
Sorry for neglecting you, but thanks for reminding me of your providence of fiber in helping my body digest food and allow for easy waste relief. I have learned my lesson the hard way to always listen and eat my daily allotment of fruits and veges. (I think You should too!)